Revisiting 2010

A while ago, I watched a video our friends had made of their previous year.  At the end of 2010, I thought, I could do that!  As I started to make the video, however, I came across an issue.  Something happened in the formatting of some of our video footage.  I couldn't figure out how to convert the strange format.  Kyle said he thought he could fix it, but months later, it was still not accessible.  I'd started making the project in 2010, but had decided to wait until the video footage was fixed.  It's July of 2011, and I've decided, I've waited long enough.  Most likely the footage wont be recovered until we are back in the states, and seeing as that will be quite a while, I decided to finish the project without the rest of the footage. 

If you interested in whats going on in the video, I've provided a rudimentary list of events along with a few links to blog posts.

Click to watch in youtube


Ansan drama, Samgipsal dinner (BBQ pork), golden beauty- our first, very decorative, phone, ski trip- click here
Monk for a day
Teaching at an orphanage- (the middle two posts)
Deserted island trip
World cup
Jellamnom-do- in the south
The Russian students
mudfest
and part.2
Free trip
egg drop
Our schools version of immigration
Shopping in Seoul
Boracay- Vacation to the Philippines,
Hiking in Yongmun
One year birthday party
Halloween
Korean food
Everland
Bugs
Preschool- there are LOTS of preschool posts, here's one
Building an igloo
Vacation to Hawaii
Home for Christmas

Wow, that took way longer than I expected to link all those posts... I hope you look at them...

Note: The first two songs are Korean songs, and the last one is composed and played by our friend Michael Fontenot.

2009 in Review!

This year has been a whirlwind of emotions so to commemorate it further, I have put together a slideshow of pictures. You might notice that the first half has a serious lack of Kyle in them. One of us had the camera, the other didn't. Hence the unevenness of photos.

I'm feeling a little bit grumpy however because the music I picked for the slide show wasn't accepted by Youtube so I spent nearly an hour this morning listening to music which they will allow. The song I picked isn't my favorite, but there were limited choices for the length. Please watch the slide show anyways. At least so I can feel that it wasn't hours wasted putting this together that no one watched. (talk about guilt laden)

Plus, you might be surprised to see a picture of yourself :)

2009 part dos

(part II of 2009 in review) written in diary form...

July 14

I have flown home without telling anyone but Kyle. He met me at the airport, and I hardly recognized him. I lost the parking ticket and we had to pay an exorbitant amount of money to leave the airport, but at this point I don't care. I would have paid $100, and for a cheapskate like me, that is a LOT of money. Kyle took me to a hotel in the historical King William's district. He had hand made chocolate covered strawberries and had scattered the room with rose petals. It was terribly romantic.

In the morning, I didn't want to get out of bed. I didn't want to tell anyone that I was home for days. I wanted Kyle all to myself. He was in my arms, and I wasn't letting go.

July 16
I surprised my mom at work. She hadn't expected it. Her first reaction was "What's wrong?"

I have no desire to answer anyone's questions right now. In a way, I feel like a wounded pup afraid of another blow, but at least I have my husband and right now, that's all that matters.

August 28
We have been so lazy. I went from working full time, to spending my days as a cat, eating and napping, occasionally batting at things that pass in front of me. After spending a few restful weeks at the coast bathing in each others presence, life has resumed it's normal pace. No jobs as of yet. I have been looking, but without much success.

And man is it hot. This has been one of the hottest and driest summers on records, but thankfully last night God showered us with that much needed hydration in a thunderstorm to be remembered.

September 3

Our third anniversary we spent very casually with a picnic of Greek food at Comanche Outlook with a spectacular view of San Antonio. Have I mentioned that I love being married?

September 16
We just went through this life management seminar thingy- and I am wavering from hanging from a twinkling star with frolic, and falling over fro exhaustion and woe. I got so much out this weekend, and then it happened, Kyle admitted that he has been continuing to lie. And that first admission in February, was only partially truth. He never failed the tests. He never took the tests. He hasn't graduated STILL!!!

We had a 10 week one day a week Happiness seminar start Monday, and I had to fight the tears nearly every second we sat listening. My emotions were all cascading off the jagged edge together at the exact same time, and all I could do was sit like an outsider and watch has they collided and somersaulted together at the waters edge. It was if they were participating without my consent in some game I had chosen not to participate in.

September 30
I have come to the conclusion that what Kyle has done was admirable. Although he has lied to me in the past, he has come clean not only to me, but to everyone in his life, and I am choosing to view him not as a liar, but as a brave individual. I have to admit, I do not fully trust him yet, and he is still re-gaining my trust, but so far, I have been astounded with the changes I have seen in him. Landmark has done so much for our relationship. I am so glad that the truth has finally come out. We can finally move on with our lives!

October 25
For some reason, I can't get into the Fall spirit. I love Halloween. Typically Kyle and I carve pumpkins, but we never made the time this year.
I am tired of being unemployed. I am ready to be back in Korea. Kyle has completed his Spanish tests. And as I thought, he aced them all. I know because I listened on the phone as he spoke with Texas State (where he took his Spanish courses). Why he was so petrified to take them, I will never understand. There is much I will never understand about the workings of his mind. He is so close. He is almost a graduate. We have only been waiting for this moment for two years. I can almost feel victory in our hands!

November 14
Our Utah trip was a blast! I am so glad we got the opportunity to visit Leslie, Peter and Jennifer. I miss having friends. We have friends here, but we hardly see them. Many are busy, but I have also holed myself into a cocoon, and often don't wish to see the outside world. I enjoy the outside world when I see it, but I am feeling worthless recently. Being unemployed and in our particular situation makes me feel unaccomplished. I know that isn't true, but I feel lazy and slug like.

November 16
My only living grandparent is in the hospital. She was placed on the ventilator last night. As we were packing, I lay on the floor as useful as a pile of bricks. Thank God for my husband. He packed my clothes and lifted me from my fetal position from the floor and onto the bed. What would I do without him. Tomorrow will be a long day.

November 17
They gave her a ten percent chance of living yesterday. My mom was distraught as we drove the 7 hours to Lubbock. My mind was numb. nothing.

Later..
She can't speak because of the tubes in her throat, but she doesn't look on the brink of death. I am so relieved. I don't know what I would do without my grandmother.

November 22
She is officially out of danger and is breathing with the help of an oxygen machine instead of a ventilator. Kyle and I are going to go to San Antonio and Corpus for Thanksgiving. And, I think we have found a school we like in Korea. They have offered us positions. Yay!

(artist:Amanda Spicer)

December 11
After Thanksgiving, we drove back to Lubbock. Not before driving to Austin to take care of everything needed to apply for visas for our schools in Korea. We ended up driving to Austin twice and having to run in the rain quite a bit, but it has been done. Our papers have been sent off and now all we have to do is wait.

p.s. today is our dating anniversary! Happy nine years!

December 19
Today is Kyle's graduation date. He's not walking the stage, but as of today, he is a graduate!! Hurray!

December 29
Bad news: I can't get my visa before we our departure date. They aren't issuing visas this week. Stupid consulate.

December 31
In Houston with the Rogers clan. The video scavenger hunt was a blast! I can't wait to do that again next Christmas. Fireworks and a sillystring fight in front of uncle Tim's house was a perfect ending to 2009. This year, I am ready to be through with 2009. It is not a year I particularly want to hold onto. 2010, here we come!

2009 part uno

Had I kept a diary in 2009, rather than this blog, it might have looked like this:

January 1st:
We celebrated the New Years last night at a Casino which is exclusively for foreigners. Gambling in Korea is illegal, except for foreigners. Foreigners may throw away their money however they like. It was surprising however, how muted the excitement over the New Years was. I expected a big hooray like in the US, but instead, the players hardly looked up from their hands as we jumped up and down excitedly at the turn of a new year.

My feelings for the changing of the year is muddled. On one hand, it is like opening the first page of a book with sparkling white blank pages and fresh jet black ink in hand. The smell of the crisp uncontaminated paper is rejuvinating, and yet intimidating. What is one to do without guidelines? Is there really such thing as a fresh start?

As I hugged and kissed the other teachers as the fireworks on the television exploded in sprays of illuminated joy, I was painfully reminded that I had left my love on another continent. When will he get here? I hope it is soon. I hope it is before our ski trip!

February 14th

I cried on the phone today while talking with Kyle. I wanted to celebrate Valentines with him but he doesn't seem any closer to getting here than when I left. It's been really hard being here without him. My twin bed is cold and small and I miss snuggling in the crook of his arm and falling asleep feeling utterly and completely loved. Hugging my teddy bear just isn't the same.

February 15th

Kyle called as I was about to walk out the door to work out. This time he was crying. "You need to come home." were the only words I could make out. My heart stopped. I thought he was saying that someone had died. No one had died, but my complete trust in him died that day. He managed to tell me that he had been lying to me. He said he failed his tests and that he still hasn't graduated. How could he lie to me to my face? How could someone who loves you lie like that? My eyes shed no tears, but my heart wept and is weeping still. I am deflated like a withered balloon ignored for weeks, floating amongst the dust and dirt skipping along the floor. Kyle was staying in Dallas. I called my mom and told her the truth, but Kyle asked me not to tell anyone else. He is ashamed, so very ashamed. I won't tell anyone to protect him, but I hate lying. I hate that this is happening. I love him. I am not going to leave him. He promises he will make it up to me. I feel like one of those abused women who will believe anything? Am I being naive? Am I becoming one of those women?

He is going to stay with my mom while he takes his tests again. He needs help, but if I went home, I feel like I would just be enabling him. I want him to be able to take care of things on his own. I know he can, why can't he just find the confidence? I have confidence in him. My family thinks he could spin the Earth on one finger if he wanted to. Why can't he see what we see?

March 27th

Today is Kyle's birthday. I was hoping he would be in Korea to celebrate with me, but alas, he is still in Texas. He tells me he has passed his tests, but is waiting for the school to process his papers. I am so OVER waiting. I am OVER being alone. How much longer is this going to go on? Was it a mistake, my coming before he had his physical diploma? I am enjoying the work. I love the people I work with. I just wish that Kyle could enjoy it with me. This is a whole new world and its just not as fun without Kyle.

April 13

I am really disappointed today. My heart was determined to stay strong through my birthday. I was sure Kyle would get here by my birthday, and he's not. But my heart didn't break. I always think it will break, but it keeps on pumping. Spring is upon us, and although the flowers bring joy to my heart, there is an emptiness, a hole and nothing but Kyle can fill it.

The papers still haven't been processed. He swears he's telling me the truth. I believe him because I don't think he would lie to me again. Our relationship couldn't handle more lying.

And I am sick. I am sick ON MY BIRTHDAY! Boo.

May 5

In games class today, instead of playing games with the kids, I wrote a prose that I am really proud of. It was metaphorical of how my emotions are holding up pertaining to being separated from my love. I am surprised actually with how well I have handled it all. I fully expected to have fallen apart by now. Well, actually, I NEVER in my wildest imagination or worst nightmare expected to be apart for this long. But Kyle thinks he will be getting on a plane by mid May. He is having some issues with the state office where they give the appositille stamp, but at this point, we have decided to bring him over on a spousal visa just so we don't have to be apart while we wait for the paperwork to be processed. I CANNOT wait. Only a few more days until I hold my darling in my arms, and once he is there, you better believe I ain't letting go!

June 20
We recently went to a Korean baseball game and ate dried squid. I don't recommend the squid. It was like jerky, but fishy, but for whatever reason, they are all the rave at Korean games. The baseball game was fun- not that I really payed much attention to the actual game. I also attended the wedding of one of our Korean co-workers. If I do say so myself, I was looking good, but alas I didn't have a date. Kyle isn't here... this can't go on like this.

(artist: Jim kazanjian)

July 1
I had a meeting with my boss... unless Kyle can send his paperwork by the end of the week, they aren't going to hold his position. Not that I blame them. I don't blame them. In fact, I think they have been extremely generous and patient, more so than they needed to be. My contract ends in a week. If he doesn't get his paperwork in, I'm not going to renew my contract. I should be bummed, but really I am ecstatic. Either way, I am going to see my husband VERY VERY soon. What more could I ask for? A job? That's not even CLOSE to as important as being with my husband. The way I see it, either scenario is WIN-WIN.

...The next six months to follow in the next post...

Snot Monster (reminicing)

(In the spirit of sickness and in sharing past memories of Italy, I thought I would share a post I wrote on our first blog that we started to keep our family and friends up to date with our lives in Italy. In the previous post, I shared about the time when Kyle was sick in Venice, but previous to that, I had been sick. I was just beggining to stretch my writing muscles and devlop my voice. I remember being really proud of this piece, but now as I read through it, I am tempted to edit and revamp it, but as it is a relic from another time, I am holding myself back and leaving it as is and accepting it as it is. Here is that moment:)

The Snot Monster
So it has come to that time in the season where everyone is getting sick, including me! Noses become red, everyone sneezes and coughs and tissues are a hot comodity. I have become a statistic in this common pattern. My body is no longer my own but now merely a shell for snot. I am afraid there will be an uprising soon and the snot will not only hold my body hostage but will become a snot monster and try and take over the world. It could happen and if it did, Italy would be doomed. The snot monster would be a force to be reckoned with and we would need the amazing powers of a superpower to fight this evil. Maybe spiderman, batman, superman or better yet superwoman. Even the incredibles might not be able to contain this gigantic mass of yellow goo.
I am very glad I am sick now though instead of in Venice and during fall break. I have been taking it easy, moving slowly and not changing out of p.js. So far I think that my home remedy is working. But yesterday we had to go do laundry in the cold. We do have a laudry service but we were advised in the begining not to wash anything in there that you are particularly attached to because they might ruin it, so we have to hand wash and hang dry the clothes we are attached to. The problem starts to occur when you feel that your clothes aren't very clean from swishing them around in a bucket full of soap. Also, winter here is cold and wet meaning clothes will start to freeze soon instead of dry. Everytime we hang things to dry it ineveitably rains. So the point I am coming to is that I had to wash clothes in the cold while sick yesterday and it didn't make me a happy camper. Don't you agree Kyle should have done it all himself. Most of the clothes were his anyways, but I am a good girlfriend and we split the labor.
Kyle is not sick and is showing no signs of being taken over by the snot monster but only time will tell.

(Ironic isn't it, that Kyle DID get sick in Venice!)

Here's Kyle's current snot trail. Enjoy!

P.S. If you are wondering if the strange, sickly looking plant in the back is growing from the pile of tisssues, no it's not. We are trying to grow a pineapple bush. So far it's not looking so good.

Picture crazy!!

So, a few weeks ago, I got an email from an old high school buddy requesting photos from our theater days in high school. My first thought was, "yeah right, I have no photos on the computer from high school. The digital camera was WAY too pricey at the time, which would mean hours and hours of looking up photos, scanning them in, yata yata yata."

But then...

I opened the closet under the stairs.....

I found some photos

it was really exciting...

I might of peed in my pants.. just a little

I ate a banana..

And I went kooko like a crazed monkey on cat nip

Scanning

cropping

editing

seeing stars, from looking at the computer screen for so many hours of the day

uploading to facebook

pulling my hair out

The Internet is my best friend right now- storing my treasures for all eternity

I LOVE looking through old photos and reminiscing. I had a great childhood, and high school experience, basically I have had a great life. I like to complain about the muddy quicksand that we are currently wading through and have been stuck in for what feels like FOREVER, but we really have been very blessed through everything.

So I thought since I was reminiscing so much, and I couldn't think of much else to write about, (the truth comes out) I would share some of our good ole' times...

Not too many so that you start yawning and looking at the old watcheroo, but enough so that you can see us before... from when we were... young.. I mean.. younger. We are STILL young. We are NOT OLD yet! Hey, I know, maybe I will make a series of these posts. "A look back" hmmm... "Another time, a younger time" any suggestions on the name?

This picture, I believe was our practice in an Austin Park before the State UIL one act play competition of what should have been the #1 play of Anna Karinina. It was a real honor that we made it to state at all. High school theater in Texas is incredibly competitive and to this day, I still remember some of the amazing performances we saw while there. Honestly, some of them were as good as a Broadway performance.

We really liked posing in pictures. It is a pity however that I have those ugly curlers in all of those shots.

Here is a picture of Kyle, my new handsome boyfriend, posing to be drunk at a picnic table in the same park before our competition. Isn't he so cute!! We had only been dating a few months and I was smitten.
The new boyfriend again with PUPPIES. My mom bred Bichon Frises and Maltese to help put me through college, the result being that we always had puppies running around, the downside: heaping pools of poop and pee!
This is us at the Disney Ball when we worked at Disney. I love this picture of us.
And these were my Disney roomies at Christmas. Notice the snowflakes (which were not allowed as they were considered a fire hazard) and the beautiful Christmas tree. We worked every holiday, including Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years as Disney college slaves, I mean- interns. I have to say that that Thanksgiving is at the top of my favs. We worked till the wee hours of the morning, like 2 am, and then came home to a feast potluck, with tons of friends, and amazing food! Through our sleep deprivation, we followed with making the snowflakes that you see in this photo. Complete with glitter, as no snowflake is truly fulfilled without glitter. We had lots of fun as slaves and made many lasting friendships.

Kyle just informed me that the first picture is of us in San Antonio, not Austin. Also, he has told me this many times. I just don't listen to my husband as well as I should!

p.s. the writing in blue was Kyle writing, if you couldn't tell... I do listen! But all I hear is "wa wa wa!"