Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Haloween events

The Saturday before Halloween, Kyle and I went to a costume party. We had a really difficult time figuring out what to be. After dicussing our past costumes we discovered that in all of our years of being a couple, we have never once done a couple costume so we made sure this year we had to correct that mistake. We did a lot of research trying to find good, but easy costumes and we found some really funny silly ideas. Where a ball cap and tie a leaf to the rim. When someone asks what you are, blow on the leaf. ( leaf blower) We considered being gum on the bottom of a shoe. Dress in all pink and tie a shoe to your head. hee hee. We ended up going for being a painter and a master piece. I was the masterpiece and he was the painter. I bought a cheap cardboard frame and kyle painted a Picasso type painting on my face. He then wore a barrette (sp) and painted a gotee (sp) on his face. I think we made a good creative couple, but we were by far not the most creative there. There was a couple of guys who had made elaborate costumes. One guy was french fries, another was a milkshake, another was a controller for an old Nintendo and yet another was a meat wad. We spoke with french fry dude and he was an aerospace engineer working on his Ph.D. Who knew they had so much time on their hands, those Ph.D students! The party was fun, it wasn't great, not a whole lot of people I knew, only Italy friends and a other friends of Anne-Marie (the hostess), but I was glad to go to a party anyhow! She had made cute favors for the Halloween spirit. Cookies that were made to look like fingers and a cake that was all crumbled up in a kitty litter box (obviously a new and unused one).

Aurora has had an eventful week. We had to take her to the vet yesterday. Monday we noticed her chewing on her paw more furiously than normal and when we stopped her we noticed blood. From the looks of her paw it looked as if she was starting to chew off her thumbnail and it was bleeding somewhat heavily. It was not life-threatening but a little scary. We put neosporin on the wound and wrapped it up with a band aide and tape so she couldn't chew her way to it. The next day I took her to the vet, and the vet said she thought Aurora had caught her nail on something and broken it to the quic (sp) and she was working on removing it when we found her. The vet removed the nail, gave her pain medication and antibiotics to stop an infection. She also wrapped up her little paw with a Halloween bandage, and it had this cute black cat on it. It is really a cute/ sad sight to see! Gus, the cat at the vet, also decided to flirt with Aurora, maybe it was the bandage that peeked his interest?

Last tale to tell! Halloween night, Kyle and I were not sure what our plans were. At first, some friends, were supposed to come up to Austin, from SA to go to one it's many haunted houses and then walk sixth street. But homework took priority and so they had to cancel. Everyone involved was bummed, but such is the life of a student. :( Anyways so Kyle and I decided to spend the evening watching scary movies in our living room. However, earlier that day, I wrote an email to my book club asking if anyone was interested in doing anything for Halloween. Everyone seemed interested but no one had suggestions except to all watch a scary movie. An hour before we are to get together, someone suggested another idea, "The Enchanted Forest" Is supposed to be a forest with lots of scary things in it and then there was supposed to be this pirate show. So.... we decided, "what the hell! It's Halloween!" Kyle insisted that this was an event that we needed to dress up for, so I painted whiskers on my face, wore a pink cheetah shirt and cat ears. Kyle wore his mickey mouse hoody towel. ( he is so adorable in that thing!) We were pretty excited. I didn't know if people were going to be jumping out from behind the trees or what, but there were just things like giant plastic spiders with spider webs and other unmoving inanimate objects strategically placed in the woods. Kyle was right about the costumes, but no one else in our group wore a costume, so if we had wanted we could have just gone in normal clothing. The Enchanted Forest was interesting, but lacking. Walking along the path we found people hanging out around a camp fire and after crossing the bridge we found our seats on the floor of the forest waiting for the pirate show to start. The show didn't start for at least thirty minutes after it was supposed to and then when it did start, I wished it would stop for the pain of embarrassment of seeing those poor people who had no idea what a good performance was. It was really a pitiful show, with a bunch of people dressed up as pirates, acting drunk and playing with fire. The first act was a man blowing fire, which I have seen before, and is pretty cool, but there was this boat hanging above the stage which seemed about to catch on fire. Next was the twirling fire batons which was also pretty impressive except it took her at least five minutes to show anything really impressive and then another ten minutes to continue the same tricks over and over from different angles. Next were two guys who were twirling fire on ropes of some sort, pretending to hit one another, but then actually catching the other on fire because they had gotten a little too close. And then a tree caught fire and they had to take care of that little accident. Mind you we were in a forest! Next was a hula hoop fire girl and she was pretty good too but she also included some bizarre dancing around her hula hoop and other unimpressive and unnecessary moves. After they announced the next round to be suspension and bondage, we decided to leave. I believe the only way of enjoying that show would be to be stoned or drunk (which many people were)! I wish I could have gotten my money back, $10, but at least we all got a good laugh out of it. I mean really, it is great when people set each other on fire! :(

Trials of marriage: A bamboozeled mess!

Laying lethargically in bed on a very lazy mid-day Sunday, Kyle looked at me and asked a question that has no definite answer. Kyle and I talked yesterday for the better half of the day. The question covered the much avoided topic of our immediate future. It is a question I hear a lot, but never have an answer. What are we going to do when Kyle graduates in December? Where will we go? What will we do? Will we continue to live where we are? Kyle will of course have one more Spanish class to take but he may take that class at any community college leaving us with no obligation to stay in any specific city. My advertising consulting job is both in San Antonio and Austin, but truly it could be from anywhere I please. We volleyed ideas and opinions from under the covers and uncovered many more questions wanting answers. The more we talked the more we confused ourselves. The whole situation and conversation was discomforting. I used to know what I wanted, but now I am not so sure. Well, that isn’t entirely accurate because I still have dreams and goals I just don’t know when I am to achieve them. When you put two ambitious people with different hopes and dreams together in a marriage you get a bamboozled mess! It’s like throwing two necklace chains in a jewelry box, shaking it up a bit, and pulling the two chains out with new knots and twists, not knowing where one starts and one begins. When I married Kyle, I knew I would be making sacrifices to conjoin our lives to one. I knew this willingly and accepted it because all though I am making sacrifices, they don’t have to be permanent deaths to my dreams, only sleeping pills to wake another day. But now I am in limbo waiting for my next door to open, hoping it is somewhere I would like to be. Kyle asked me what I want and where I want to be in a year from now, and it bothers me that I cannot answer that question. I can answer the question with what I would really like, but not what is actually going to happen. Don’t ask me what the conclusion of this half-day discussion was because I don’t know. I felt like progress was made, but no final decisions have been planted for permanent growth. Our life’s future is uncertain, but at least I know one thing assuredly, we will always have each other to complicate the other’s life.

Why get married?

What does marriage mean? Why do people get married? What is wrong with dating for the rest of ones life? I met a man the other day who seemed to hold that philosophy on relationships. He was an engaged man, but had been so for 15 years. He asked the woman he was dating if she would marry him, slipped a ring on her finger, and remained in limbo till the present day. Obviously the commitment is there, but he is happy in the arrangement they are in and really has no intention of taking his fiancé down an aisle. “Why?” I asked him. His answer to my question was the same as my question, “why should I?” “We have been living together most of our engagement, I make her happy, I am her prince charming, and she is happy, why do we have to get married?” What is the importance of marriage? What’s wrong with just vowing to each other to be together. I asked what her feelings of her perpetual engagement was, and his response was “She must be happy she has stayed with me this long.” If I were that fiancé, I don’t think that I could have handled such a confusing situation. But why would I struggle with that state of affairs. What is so important about being married? Legally, this couple is married by common law, but he chooses to refer to her as his fiancé. He said it was always a great conversation piece. Statistically speaking, couples who do not get married and stay under the label of live-in boyfriend/girlfriend have a much higher chance of splitting apart. There is something about that written contract that solidifies a couple from feeling uneasy about the commitment to the other. The words we use define us in a way. “I am married,” for example is phrase that changes people’s percpective of me. I am automatically older, or maybe I am silly and impulsive. Whatever their reaction, I have changed somewhat in their eyes.
For me, I chose to marry Kyle because I wanted to take that last step to solidify our commitment to one another. As I said in my vows, I have been married in heart for a long time, but we wanted the world to know our love and passion for one another was not a fleeting crush but true and lasting love. We know that marriage is hard, but the benefits greatly outweigh the labor. I love being married. There is so much security in knowing that there is a person in my life that will love and stand by me the rest of my days. Using words like “husband, wife , married, and Rogers” is still challenging, but I am slowly learning to use these familiar yet foreign words. Life is like a disorienting walk uphill through a blizard, not knowing where the top really lies, but at least with marriage, one knows that their hand will never be empty.