We've been busy

 After Hawaii... which we will talk about later in more detail, we landed in Texas Christmas Day and hit the ground running.

First we had to wrap TONS of gifts, which were then opened only a few hours later!

I gave my grandmother an adjuma (Korean old lady) hat for walking and protecting her skin from the sun.  I think she liked it. :)

We took silly pictures.

My family posing for the camera 

Then we got to see long lost friends.  Well, not long lost, but our best friends we haven't seen in over a year :(

And I met the cutest kid ever, baby John.  And just because I'm his assistant auntie doesn't mean I'm biased.

He really liked my reindeer house shoes. He kept trying to eat the bells off them.  If you want to read more tales about baby John, you can visit him over at their blog.

We then traveled to Houston to have fun with the Rogers family on New Years Eve.  We had a silly string fight.  It was fun.

And we shot off fireworks.  One of them didn't really fire as it was designed.  It burst out of the tube and shot out low to the ground.  It was actually pretty scary but thankfully no one was hurt.

We've been having fun and staying busy.  Hope your holidays were as lovely as ours!

Happy New Years

We are in Houston now visiting with more family and friends. New Years day Kyle and I found a Shel Silverstein book and as we were getting ready for bed, curled under the covers to reminisce in "Where the sidewalk ends."  (In our theater class we did a rendition of several of the poems from this book while in high school and we have comforting memories from them)  We came across "Listen to the Mustn't" and I felt it was a perfect poem to start the New Year with.  What do you take away from this poem?

 

"Listen to the MUSTN'T, child,

Listen to the DON'Ts

Listen to the SHOULDN'Ts

The IMPOSSIBLES,

the WON'Ts

Listen to the NEVER HAVEs

Then listen close to me--

Anything can happen, child,

ANYTHING can be."

Shel Silverstein

Flying bird tea house

I meant to include these pictures in the Valentine's Day post but, there were so many pictures taken that weekend, these got voted out of that post. But there are some very cool pictures taken at this incredibly unique tea house that I all bird lovers and photographers can appreciate.

This is the poop tree we sat near. The birds seemed to be trained to poop only on this tree and no where else in the tea house.

Kyle had a cinnamon punch tea which is a traditional Korean winter tea. Oddly enough it is served cold. I plan to try my hand at making this one day. Click here for the recipe. Amy got a plum tea which is delicious and also very traditional. And my tea had an odd name that I can't recall.

Here are the birdies just hanging out, enjoying the humdrum of the live of a tea house bird.

Sitting in front of the poop tree.

The birds had eaten through this decoration and liked to sit behind it peeking out. The bird version of peek-a-boo.

Me and my lovely Amy :)

"How do ya do? Wanna share any of those nice snacks that look like bird food?"

"That's right, I'm lookin at you!"

This bird was really so curious. He kept checking us out so intently.


Looking at the big wide world he's missing out on. It was really really cold that day. We're talking frost bite cold. He was one of the lucky birds in my book. I don't know if he appreciated the heaters in his prison as much as I did though.

2009 in Review!

This year has been a whirlwind of emotions so to commemorate it further, I have put together a slideshow of pictures. You might notice that the first half has a serious lack of Kyle in them. One of us had the camera, the other didn't. Hence the unevenness of photos.

I'm feeling a little bit grumpy however because the music I picked for the slide show wasn't accepted by Youtube so I spent nearly an hour this morning listening to music which they will allow. The song I picked isn't my favorite, but there were limited choices for the length. Please watch the slide show anyways. At least so I can feel that it wasn't hours wasted putting this together that no one watched. (talk about guilt laden)

Plus, you might be surprised to see a picture of yourself :)

2009 part dos

(part II of 2009 in review) written in diary form...

July 14

I have flown home without telling anyone but Kyle. He met me at the airport, and I hardly recognized him. I lost the parking ticket and we had to pay an exorbitant amount of money to leave the airport, but at this point I don't care. I would have paid $100, and for a cheapskate like me, that is a LOT of money. Kyle took me to a hotel in the historical King William's district. He had hand made chocolate covered strawberries and had scattered the room with rose petals. It was terribly romantic.

In the morning, I didn't want to get out of bed. I didn't want to tell anyone that I was home for days. I wanted Kyle all to myself. He was in my arms, and I wasn't letting go.

July 16
I surprised my mom at work. She hadn't expected it. Her first reaction was "What's wrong?"

I have no desire to answer anyone's questions right now. In a way, I feel like a wounded pup afraid of another blow, but at least I have my husband and right now, that's all that matters.

August 28
We have been so lazy. I went from working full time, to spending my days as a cat, eating and napping, occasionally batting at things that pass in front of me. After spending a few restful weeks at the coast bathing in each others presence, life has resumed it's normal pace. No jobs as of yet. I have been looking, but without much success.

And man is it hot. This has been one of the hottest and driest summers on records, but thankfully last night God showered us with that much needed hydration in a thunderstorm to be remembered.

September 3

Our third anniversary we spent very casually with a picnic of Greek food at Comanche Outlook with a spectacular view of San Antonio. Have I mentioned that I love being married?

September 16
We just went through this life management seminar thingy- and I am wavering from hanging from a twinkling star with frolic, and falling over fro exhaustion and woe. I got so much out this weekend, and then it happened, Kyle admitted that he has been continuing to lie. And that first admission in February, was only partially truth. He never failed the tests. He never took the tests. He hasn't graduated STILL!!!

We had a 10 week one day a week Happiness seminar start Monday, and I had to fight the tears nearly every second we sat listening. My emotions were all cascading off the jagged edge together at the exact same time, and all I could do was sit like an outsider and watch has they collided and somersaulted together at the waters edge. It was if they were participating without my consent in some game I had chosen not to participate in.

September 30
I have come to the conclusion that what Kyle has done was admirable. Although he has lied to me in the past, he has come clean not only to me, but to everyone in his life, and I am choosing to view him not as a liar, but as a brave individual. I have to admit, I do not fully trust him yet, and he is still re-gaining my trust, but so far, I have been astounded with the changes I have seen in him. Landmark has done so much for our relationship. I am so glad that the truth has finally come out. We can finally move on with our lives!

October 25
For some reason, I can't get into the Fall spirit. I love Halloween. Typically Kyle and I carve pumpkins, but we never made the time this year.
I am tired of being unemployed. I am ready to be back in Korea. Kyle has completed his Spanish tests. And as I thought, he aced them all. I know because I listened on the phone as he spoke with Texas State (where he took his Spanish courses). Why he was so petrified to take them, I will never understand. There is much I will never understand about the workings of his mind. He is so close. He is almost a graduate. We have only been waiting for this moment for two years. I can almost feel victory in our hands!

November 14
Our Utah trip was a blast! I am so glad we got the opportunity to visit Leslie, Peter and Jennifer. I miss having friends. We have friends here, but we hardly see them. Many are busy, but I have also holed myself into a cocoon, and often don't wish to see the outside world. I enjoy the outside world when I see it, but I am feeling worthless recently. Being unemployed and in our particular situation makes me feel unaccomplished. I know that isn't true, but I feel lazy and slug like.

November 16
My only living grandparent is in the hospital. She was placed on the ventilator last night. As we were packing, I lay on the floor as useful as a pile of bricks. Thank God for my husband. He packed my clothes and lifted me from my fetal position from the floor and onto the bed. What would I do without him. Tomorrow will be a long day.

November 17
They gave her a ten percent chance of living yesterday. My mom was distraught as we drove the 7 hours to Lubbock. My mind was numb. nothing.

Later..
She can't speak because of the tubes in her throat, but she doesn't look on the brink of death. I am so relieved. I don't know what I would do without my grandmother.

November 22
She is officially out of danger and is breathing with the help of an oxygen machine instead of a ventilator. Kyle and I are going to go to San Antonio and Corpus for Thanksgiving. And, I think we have found a school we like in Korea. They have offered us positions. Yay!

(artist:Amanda Spicer)

December 11
After Thanksgiving, we drove back to Lubbock. Not before driving to Austin to take care of everything needed to apply for visas for our schools in Korea. We ended up driving to Austin twice and having to run in the rain quite a bit, but it has been done. Our papers have been sent off and now all we have to do is wait.

p.s. today is our dating anniversary! Happy nine years!

December 19
Today is Kyle's graduation date. He's not walking the stage, but as of today, he is a graduate!! Hurray!

December 29
Bad news: I can't get my visa before we our departure date. They aren't issuing visas this week. Stupid consulate.

December 31
In Houston with the Rogers clan. The video scavenger hunt was a blast! I can't wait to do that again next Christmas. Fireworks and a sillystring fight in front of uncle Tim's house was a perfect ending to 2009. This year, I am ready to be through with 2009. It is not a year I particularly want to hold onto. 2010, here we come!

2009 part uno

Had I kept a diary in 2009, rather than this blog, it might have looked like this:

January 1st:
We celebrated the New Years last night at a Casino which is exclusively for foreigners. Gambling in Korea is illegal, except for foreigners. Foreigners may throw away their money however they like. It was surprising however, how muted the excitement over the New Years was. I expected a big hooray like in the US, but instead, the players hardly looked up from their hands as we jumped up and down excitedly at the turn of a new year.

My feelings for the changing of the year is muddled. On one hand, it is like opening the first page of a book with sparkling white blank pages and fresh jet black ink in hand. The smell of the crisp uncontaminated paper is rejuvinating, and yet intimidating. What is one to do without guidelines? Is there really such thing as a fresh start?

As I hugged and kissed the other teachers as the fireworks on the television exploded in sprays of illuminated joy, I was painfully reminded that I had left my love on another continent. When will he get here? I hope it is soon. I hope it is before our ski trip!

February 14th

I cried on the phone today while talking with Kyle. I wanted to celebrate Valentines with him but he doesn't seem any closer to getting here than when I left. It's been really hard being here without him. My twin bed is cold and small and I miss snuggling in the crook of his arm and falling asleep feeling utterly and completely loved. Hugging my teddy bear just isn't the same.

February 15th

Kyle called as I was about to walk out the door to work out. This time he was crying. "You need to come home." were the only words I could make out. My heart stopped. I thought he was saying that someone had died. No one had died, but my complete trust in him died that day. He managed to tell me that he had been lying to me. He said he failed his tests and that he still hasn't graduated. How could he lie to me to my face? How could someone who loves you lie like that? My eyes shed no tears, but my heart wept and is weeping still. I am deflated like a withered balloon ignored for weeks, floating amongst the dust and dirt skipping along the floor. Kyle was staying in Dallas. I called my mom and told her the truth, but Kyle asked me not to tell anyone else. He is ashamed, so very ashamed. I won't tell anyone to protect him, but I hate lying. I hate that this is happening. I love him. I am not going to leave him. He promises he will make it up to me. I feel like one of those abused women who will believe anything? Am I being naive? Am I becoming one of those women?

He is going to stay with my mom while he takes his tests again. He needs help, but if I went home, I feel like I would just be enabling him. I want him to be able to take care of things on his own. I know he can, why can't he just find the confidence? I have confidence in him. My family thinks he could spin the Earth on one finger if he wanted to. Why can't he see what we see?

March 27th

Today is Kyle's birthday. I was hoping he would be in Korea to celebrate with me, but alas, he is still in Texas. He tells me he has passed his tests, but is waiting for the school to process his papers. I am so OVER waiting. I am OVER being alone. How much longer is this going to go on? Was it a mistake, my coming before he had his physical diploma? I am enjoying the work. I love the people I work with. I just wish that Kyle could enjoy it with me. This is a whole new world and its just not as fun without Kyle.

April 13

I am really disappointed today. My heart was determined to stay strong through my birthday. I was sure Kyle would get here by my birthday, and he's not. But my heart didn't break. I always think it will break, but it keeps on pumping. Spring is upon us, and although the flowers bring joy to my heart, there is an emptiness, a hole and nothing but Kyle can fill it.

The papers still haven't been processed. He swears he's telling me the truth. I believe him because I don't think he would lie to me again. Our relationship couldn't handle more lying.

And I am sick. I am sick ON MY BIRTHDAY! Boo.

May 5

In games class today, instead of playing games with the kids, I wrote a prose that I am really proud of. It was metaphorical of how my emotions are holding up pertaining to being separated from my love. I am surprised actually with how well I have handled it all. I fully expected to have fallen apart by now. Well, actually, I NEVER in my wildest imagination or worst nightmare expected to be apart for this long. But Kyle thinks he will be getting on a plane by mid May. He is having some issues with the state office where they give the appositille stamp, but at this point, we have decided to bring him over on a spousal visa just so we don't have to be apart while we wait for the paperwork to be processed. I CANNOT wait. Only a few more days until I hold my darling in my arms, and once he is there, you better believe I ain't letting go!

June 20
We recently went to a Korean baseball game and ate dried squid. I don't recommend the squid. It was like jerky, but fishy, but for whatever reason, they are all the rave at Korean games. The baseball game was fun- not that I really payed much attention to the actual game. I also attended the wedding of one of our Korean co-workers. If I do say so myself, I was looking good, but alas I didn't have a date. Kyle isn't here... this can't go on like this.

(artist: Jim kazanjian)

July 1
I had a meeting with my boss... unless Kyle can send his paperwork by the end of the week, they aren't going to hold his position. Not that I blame them. I don't blame them. In fact, I think they have been extremely generous and patient, more so than they needed to be. My contract ends in a week. If he doesn't get his paperwork in, I'm not going to renew my contract. I should be bummed, but really I am ecstatic. Either way, I am going to see my husband VERY VERY soon. What more could I ask for? A job? That's not even CLOSE to as important as being with my husband. The way I see it, either scenario is WIN-WIN.

...The next six months to follow in the next post...