Monday, August 31, 2009

Old Friends

Looking back to the carefree days in high school, I find my eyes glistening over with love from our high-spirits, love of life, idealism and possibilities of the future; the future which seemed so far away and so full of limitless dreams. There was some drama in high school as there is in all aspects in life, no matter how much we attempt to avoid it, but my romanticized notion of what life was like without the boulders of the failures, is not over-exaggerated at least in my mind. I preferred my mind and heart, open, and trusting, to one that is more cautious and jaded.

I saw some old good friends from my past a few days past, and our meeting reminded me why we became friends in the first place. Laughter was overriding as we sipped on raspberry tea. Hope and affection were surly ingredients in the leek, chili and potato soup as it seeped out of our pores.

Kyle and I have met a good many different people through our travels, tribulations, and experiences, some keep in touch, while others fade into the blue hue of yesterday. But each time I meet with good friends from my past, from those times of naivety and light-heartedness, I am reminded of my former self, one less self-conscious, one less caught up in the tediousness of life and I wish that I could somehow transport myself to those untainted emotions. I wish I could remember daily that 26 is not old and that I still have my entire life ahead of me. I assumed, credulously, that by 26 my life would be sorted out, that each piece of the puzzle would at least start fitting together. I supposed, ignorantly that I would at least have the border in place, but instead, I don't even think that I have all of the puzzle pieces on the table, and sometimes, I am not sure there aren't more than one puzzle involved in this game. Am I to incorporate these pieces and design my own masterpiece, or should I sort out the unfamiliar pieces and work with the what I ascertain is the correct, original puzzle? It is all so confusing, living life without a manual, without instructions. Many people are given outlines, I threw mine out a while ago by choice, but now I feel that I am wandering lost without a charted map. And I find myself wondering if I shouldn't have kept it, that outline, just as a reference or if it is better what we have chosen. Only time will tell however, if those decisions will create the masterpiece we had in mind. We have endeavored to live life on the clished moto of "live life to the fullest" which is more fulfilling that living by the book, yet as we have quickly discovered, it is not quite as simple and as there are higher mountains with this lifestyle, so are there deeper valleys.

I must look upwards however because I no longer want to nuzzle next to the jagged rocks. Here is to climbing our mountain! Here is to soaring above and beyond what we believed possible. Here is to blindly believing that life always works out in the end. Cheers to my past to my friends, idealism, naivety and joviality , cheers to the present and taking pleasure in the small things and remembering to be appreciative of our blessings, and cheers to our unknown future, where ever it may take us, may it bring us joy and send us soaring!

The mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions ~ Oliver Wendell

(Does this quote fit at all here? A friend sent it to me and I wanted to use it, so I just kind of shoved it in this puzzle as I feel like I do with many of those loose odd-fitting pieces)

Shara and Mike (now living in Arkansas), Kyle, me (living here and there) and Andrea (in corpus). It's funny how non of us girls have the same last name as we did at the beginning of our friendship.

Visiting with Andrea and her hubby and adorable baby boy in Corpus.

My lovely Shara :)


Lorie said...

coo coo! miss you! i'm so jealous of the time you guys got to spend with shara and andrea. you all look fabulous in the pictures, by the way. i only wish i didn't look so completely demented in that old high school on at the top. love you dearly, dementedly.

Andrea said...

Muah Vanessa! You are the best! It was so great to be able to get together and visit. Lorie, we missed you doll! Come back to Texas:) xoxo

Peter and Leslie said...

I feel exactly the way you describe a lot with all of the different puzzles and you don't even know which one you should be working on. I feel that way a lot.

I didn't know Shara came to SA! Fun! I wish I could have seen her!

Elizabeth said...

I feel nostalgic sometimes for my teen years--they were actually ridiculously wonderful! I also thought my twenties would be sorted out and ready to go, but then life keeps throwing something else my way. It usually leads to better things, but it is always so unsettling when it happens.

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