Have you met my archnemisis?
Skype this is the bloggy world, Bloggy world, this is skype otherwise known as evil incarnate.
So skype is only evil in my mind today. Normally it I consider it to be the next best invention next to the chocolate bar, and I LOOVVVEE chocolate so that is saying a lot. I realized that some of you may not know what skype is... "Take a deep breath" is their motto. I tried that today, but deep breathing only added fuel to the fiery flames spiraling out of my flared nostrils. Using the internet, skype allows long distance calls for dirt cheap. Honestly, I should feel entirely blessed that I can speak to Kyle at all while I am in a foreign country for anything less than $100 an hour. I should be down on my knees, kissing skype's cyber feet and thanking them for allowing the possibility that I may speak with not only Kyle but also my family members whom I miss dearly. And most days, I am extremely grateful for this wondrous technology. However, today, I am on the far side of the spectrum from grateful, one might even call me "a fire breath dragon, pulsating with a furious firery vendetta" I have spoken with Kyle this weekend 3 times but out of those three conversations only one was successful and it was for a total of 3 solid minutes. He is helping his parents out with a weekend work thing, and as his schedule is very constricted he has limited time to speak with me. When I called him yesterday morning, he stepped out long enough for us to have our uninterrupted, 3 minute conversation. However, the next time I was able to call our conversation went something like this.
Kyle: Honey are you there?
Vanessa: I am here?
K: Are you there?
V: I'm here, I'm here, I'm here
K: Hi sweetheart, how was your day?
V: Hi darling, how was your day? (lines overlapping because said at the same time)
V: Your day, how was it?
K: How was your day? (obviously he didn't hear my question)
V: I went shopping in Seoul today
V: I went shopping in Seoul today.
K: one more time sweetheart
V: I went shopping in Seoul today, I went shopping in Seoul today, I went shoppig in Seoul today.
K: You went shopping? Did you buy anything?
V: It was pretty unsuccessful, I was looking for some new cute boots, but I didn't find the perfect ones.
K: I couldn't hear you.
V: Yes I bought a shirt.
K: I think you said "Yes, you bought a purse?
And on and on like this until Kyle was finished with his ten minute break. Typically it took 20 seconds for one sentence to be accurately understood. This ten minute conversation where we understood nothing of what the other said , and rather than feeling satisfied and in love at the end of the conversation, acidic boiling in my veins was the result. As most of you know, Kyle's patience tether is significantly longer than mine, and we can assume that he has not metaphorized into a firing breathing dragon like his wife. But even if he has, I can't ask him since that is way too long of a question for him to understand. Sometimes it feels like I am talking to an ESL student, constantly repeating my sentences and key words to help them understand. But I need my phone time with Kyle as a moment to wind down, to feel wrapped in loves embrace but instead of a relaxing moment, it becomes a stress-filled one where I grab onto anything that might have a neck I can strangle. When these types of conversations occur, I find myself yelling into the phone (when volume is obviously not the problem) and getting irritated with Kyle, when it is obviously not his fault.
Conversations like these are typical but not quite to this extreme. And honestly it probably isn't even skype's fault, it is the internet's fault for being craptacular on certain days and at certain hours. But what makes this situation even more difficult, is that all but one 3 minute conversation has been as such this weekend and I am especially lonesome for my hubby right now as you can see by the latest post.
The internet like my frustration, has it's good moments and it's bad. I am sure later, it will be behaving better, because if it doesn't, I am not sure what ugly creature I might transform into next. And as for Skype, I am sorry I called you my archnemisis. You are my friend, but would you have a chat with your friend the internet for me? Ask him to play nice please. I would really appreciate a conversation with my hubby if you don't mind. Thanks!