Wednesday, October 05, 2011

I have Senioritis

Its true.  I have senioritis.  I don't know any other way of putting it.  I was thinking on it the other day while I was sitting in my classroom supposed to be working, but instead, trying to put a finger on what exactly was going on within the cobwebs of my mind. My symptoms are as follows: listlessness, apathy, laziness, half-hearted effort at work, day dreaming of laying on beaches in Thailand, day dreaming of anything besides working.
This senioritis has slowly been creeping in like the creaks in arthritic bones when a thunderstorm is approaching. I could feel it tingling within, distracting me from what was present around me before our vacation to Jeju.  But what perpetuated the surge of dispassion was the purchasing of our tickets home.  That's right, you read that right.  We've purchased tickets home.  It makes me want to scream with delight. The thought of not spending another full winter here in the frozen Korea tundra makes me want to do cartwheels through our village. It makes me want to sing joyous songs while dancing the tango.  Basically I want to do anything but work. Its like being a senior in high school again approaching the finish line and actually being able to see it in the distance.  The work placed in front of us might as well have been arabic. Books were unreadable, and work couldn't hold our attention long enough to merit grading. We'd checked out.  It was almost over; the torture of school. 

And it has come again, that illness of apathy. It has shaken me to my very core, but probably worse this time than in high school. I enjoyed high school, but it was all I'd ever known.  I was apprehensive about leaving my boyfriend (now husband) behind, and all of my friends. At this point in my nomadic life, I've come to terms with saying goodbye to friends, it's a part of package of the vagabond life. However, I feel a little guilty, not only because I feel like I'm doing a disservice to my kids by being absent in my mind, but because this job is not that hard.  For all that we complain about how the administration is out to get us, this is not difficult work. It's not as if we are slaving away out in the blazing sun working for pennies. This is simple work, rewarding even and I can't wait to leave. There are a lot of factors involved, two of witch are that I'm so ready to travel, that I confuse my day dreams with reality and as great as Korea as been to us, its time to leave for our home country.  

With the onset of senoritis, it's difficult to say the least, to stay in the present, but with our approaching preschool talent show, it'll be vital to my ability to direct three and four years old to perform not only a play but songs and dances as well.  I'm not sure there is a cure to senioritis, but as we still have nearly three full months of work, I'm going to have to find a way to get my head screwed on right.


Chantell said...

What a wonderful blog you have! I have read a couple of your posts and can't wait to go back and enjoy more :o) Your photos are adorable ~ true love does exist?!

I hope the preschool talent show goes well...Don't worry, we all suffer fro seniritis every now and again! And it sounds like you have been working super hard, so totally understandable to feel apathy...

Love your quotes too!

Blissed-Out Grandma said...

Enjoy your last few months! I had a bit of senioritis just before I retired, but then I rallied. I could enjoy the best parts of the work and not worry too much about the silly and annoying distractions, politics, etc. I hope things sort out that way for you, too.