Productive self vs. non-productive self

Productive self vs. non-productive self

There is a constant battle occurring internally, meaning in my head. It is less of a battle like you might see in a war film, and more like a cat fight in your middle school. And if you have ever seen a girl fight, you know how vicious they can be. Today the fight raged on over "To work out, or not to work out"

Here is how it went:

Productive self (p): Come on, you can do it. Why don't you just do a short work out. It will be good for you!

Non-productive self (np): Stop your squawking. I have better things to do.

P: Like what?

NP: Like lying in bed.

P: You have been lying in bed all day.

NP: We went out and partied last night for Jon and Chrisy's going away bash. We got home late. I am tired. Leave me alone!!

P: You are going to regret this. (muttering under breath) lazy butt pansy, always making excuses!

NP: (flying into a rage!) I AM NOT LAZY! I worked all day yesterday.

P: Making pet rocks with little kids is hard is it?

NP: Listen, I will have you know that little kids, paint, rocks and super glue is a dangerous combination. Plus I have already worked out three times this week already, shouldn't that be enough?

P: Excuses, excuses. (using a taunting voice) You said you were going to work out four times, what happened to that!

NP: I don't want to! I don't want to!(Ready to lunge for P's throat) So what if I do absolutely nothing all day long. I deserve it don't I?
P: Sure you do, but doesn't your body deserve to be healthy as well?
NP: I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! Go away!!!
P: Fine, but I am taking this piece of chocolate with me!
NP: What...chocolate...wait...
P: (with a 'I gotya now' smile NP wants to slap right off) Yeeessss?
NP: ( in a meek voice) I want that chocolate.
P: You gotta work for it. (dangling it in front of NP like waving a juicy steak in front of starved lion)
NP: Ok (mouth drooling)... right after I check this email.
P: You need to check your email for the nth time today when you know that most of your friends and family who send you email are tucked away in their beds at 4 am their time?
NP: Yes, I need to do it right now or else I forget. I am trying not to procrastinate.
P: Really? You are trying not to procrastinate by checking your email which you do a zillion times in a day? There are no new messages, surprise, surprise. So you have checked your email, now let's go!
NP: Wait, wait... I have to... check the weather
P: What does it matter! Get your butt out of bed.
NP: But I have a stomach ache!
P: How many excuses do you have up those sleeves of yours?
NP: They aren't excuses, they are valid concerns.

At this point Productive self gets fed up with Non-productive self and starts to pull her out of bed. NP slaps P, P slaps NP right back. They start screaming like hyenas in heat, the claws come out, hair goes everywhere and they are rolling on floor among the shoes, socks other messes NP has failed to pick up. The outcome is uncertain, either could win, depending on who has the most strength for the day. For the past month, my Productive self has whipped my non-productive self into serious shape, encouraging all sorts of behaviors such as cleaning dishes immediately, writing more often and working out regularly, but it doesn't take long before the non-productive side starts to lash out ending up rolling in a cat fight. Today, the productive side won, but after 8 hours of excuse making and serious claw scratches before finally relenting to work out and most of the time it requires serious bribing.

What do you do to motivate yourself?

Also, watch this hilarious video. I felt that it went nicely with the post as this is sometimes how I feel about working out.

Lazy Cat on a Treadmill - watch more funny videos