Saturday, September 23, 2006

Case Closed: The dogs

The Culprit: Aurora Rogers. A six pound, seven year old dog, who has illusions of grandeur and believes that she is the queen of all Canines.

Facts to support illusions:

Her head held high, feet turned out like a ballerina, and the insistent demands for attention, all communicate her superiority in the doggie world. She also refuses to take food from humans hands, it must be first set on her dinner plate.

Aurora's story:

Aurora was made a mother at the young age of two, and while she was motherly and nurturing to her children in their infancy, after their weening, she refused to acknowledge their existence. Neighbors testimony: "I once found her wandering around the street after she had run away. I noticed that she was a mother from her little utters, so I took her walking so she could find her home. She passed her own home twice while walking me to other neighbor's home. Neglectful mother if you ask me." Aurora's daughter Isis, also had children and produced the notorius puppies, Tiggy and Ambrosia. Tiggy is a New York doggy and doesn't have time to visit her grandmother, but Ambrosia lavishes Aurora with her attention, affection and playfulness in the past on a daily basis but after the move their visits have lessoned to a weekly basis. Ambrosia's testimony: "My grandmother is the best, prettiest and coolest doggie in the world. I sometimes get the impression that I annoy her, but then I lick her face, jump on her, ignore her growls, and I remember how much I love her."
Aurora has feigned indifference to her little grandaughter Ambrosia since the begining of their relationship. She growls, runs away, and refuses to make eyecontact, however, new evidence points to Aurora's appathy and unrequited love to a cover-up of Aurora's true feelings. We have reason to believe that her behavior has been an elaborate hoax to mask her emotions.

New evidence: Vanessa's testimony "I was walking Aurora passed Dana and Danny's place. Everytime we walk around the area, Aurora runs up to the door. I knocked on the door, but the only noise inside is the happy barking of Ambrosia. The D's weren't home so I pulled the reluctant Aurora away from the front door. The D's are on the first floor, and have a patio that faces the grass, Aurora so frequently enjoys a nice pee, but on this particular day, Ambrosia decided to give us an extra greeting. She flung herself at the back door, standing on her hind legs, and with her arms up, stomache pressed against the glass, she barked at the guests to come pay a visit. To my surprise and astonishment, Aurora started to whine. It is the crying noise Ambrosia makes when her Mommy Dana leaves her. Aurora was crying and trying to get through the gate bars to get to Ambrosia. I couldn't believe it! She has loved her all along, but pretended detachment and sulkyness."

Verdict: Ambrosia loves Aurora. Aurora loves Ambrosia, but continues to cloak her true feelings, for reasons unknown to her homosapien owners.

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