Ding Dong Dang- Dance off

A few weeks ago, (when this was originally written, but probably a few months ago now) our preschool was chosen to attend a special event, the Ding Dong Dang show.  It's a famous children's show here in Korea that is filmed live in front of an audience.  It was in the afternoon, and most of the childrens parents came to pick them up to experience the show with their children.  Because we couldn't leave until all the parents who were going to pick up their children came, we ended up getting to the show late enough to get nose bleed seats, or the equivalent of.  I thought the whole set up was strange.  It was a childrens show and yet the seating was plastic chairs, not any type of leveled seating, which I thought would be required for a childrens show.  My lap, along with many other parents and teachers laps, showed marks from the wear and tear of little feet trying to balance, just to see a piece of the action on the stage so far away.  I'm not sure if any child could actually see without standing on their parents (or teachers) lap.
For most of the show, the happenings on the stage was a mystery to me as I don't speak Korean. But even the children who's first language is Korean were bored much of the time.  There was a LOT of dead time.  One moment, however, stood out as a truly rousing twinkle when another teacher and I were called onto stage for a dance off. Yes, you read that right, a dance off.
In Korea, blond hair, and round eyes pretty much stick out like rudolf's red nose. So when we raised our hand for the chance to win a prize, we were obviously spotted and chosen quickly.   We were brought onto the stage, and luckily, the MC spoke some English, enough so to communicate.  We were asked first a few questions, and then asked to say some Korean words.  Now, I'm a big girl, and I can admit, that as far as learning the Korean language, I have been an utter failure.  And its all my own fault, I'll take full blame for my lack of initiative, but I would like to say in my defense, that whenever I did try and pronounce Korean words, even simple ones, I was stared at as if I were an alien and NEVER understood.  It kind of puts a damper on learning when NO ONE can ever understand the words you do know.  So when the MC asked us to speak some Korean words, the ten vocabulary words that I know flew out and fluttered into the wind.  Literally my mind went completely blank. I recovered slightly, but the experience was terrifying, much more intimidating even when they asked us to dance in front of at least a thousand people.

My dancing was far from amazing... but we had a fun time, and we even got a prize.  I didn't need any of it so I gave it away, but the experience  was unique and one to write home about.

ding dong dang video

Insects again

Last year in the summer, I posted about crazy insects.  I'm adding two more.  Wow, Korea has some insane looking insects!

creepy looking spider

 

Oriental long-headed locuts, are in the grasshopper family. 

The Dog Cafe in Myeogndong

Its not what your thinking... We didn't eat dog.  In fact a dog cafe is quite the opposite from eating dog.

A couple years ago, I posted about a bird cafe in Insadong (the traditional area of Seoul).  And only a few months ago, I posted about a "Dr. Fish cafe." Korea is funny like that. They're not an animal society.  That is, that traditionally, they haven't had domestic animals in their tiny apartments. So to compensate, Korea has created "cafes" for people to socialize with animals.  There are bird cafes, fish cafes, dog cafes and cat cafes.  There may be others, but I haven't heard of them.

We recently made our way into Seoul, Myeongdong, to be exact, just for the chance to play with some doggies.  We seriously have doggie fever. We miss having animals around so much, I sometimes throw a sock across the room just to see if Kyle will go fetch it.  If I promise to pet his hair, he'll pretty much do anything I ask. :)

Entering into the dog cafe, the fee is 8,000 won (about 8 bucks) but it comes with a free drink of your choice.  We sat our stuff down at a half eaten bench, but realized that the dogs didn't always come to you.  So we made our way to sitting on the floor.  I made the mistake of taking my green tea latte with me.  Some of the doggies found it and began enjoying my drink too.

After which, Kyle's boot was peed on. Obviously he was desirable territory needing to be marked.

When we sat on the floor, many of the dogs jumped straight into our laps wanting attention.  Many of the dogs however, were quite content taking a nap in their corner, or playing pull the other dogs tail with their friends.

The whole experience was surreal. There were at least 15 dogs out and about playing. A few of them, including an English bulldog became our favorite.  This English bulldog, probably my same weight wanted with every fiber of his being to be a lap dog.  And he didn't let his size put him off this goal.  He moved from person to person any time we kicked him off because our legs had fallen asleep with the weight of him.  He was quite a lovable giant.

We spent a good two hours in the cafe playing, laughing, and having our spirits lifted by the loveliness of the doggies. It was wonderful therapy, something I wish we'd discovered much sooner.


Directions:
From the Myeongdong subway station walk down the main street.
At the first intersection turn left, toward Uniglo.
Either the first or the second right, turn right.  Just as your turn right you'll see the picture with the doggy on it (on the right handside). (And happy feet behind it)

I've discovered the secret

To cutting onions...

yep, I'm wearing googles, cuz I'm cool like that!

No more tears boys and girls.  No more tears!

And with the flooding comes...

crayfish???  During the cleanup, which was done primarily while the rain came crashing down around us, we discovered crayfish! I didn't know what they were exactly when I first saw them. I've only ever seen crayfish cooked, and much larger.
Upon seeing them, Kyle said, "Mmmmm, dinner!"
Of course Kyle recognized them right away.  He may not remember my name when we're 80 years old and living in a nursing home, but he'll be able to tell you the diet of each different species of lizards.
Are crayfish common in Yongmun? You may be asking.

I still haven't gotten a clear answer on this.  I have no idea where these guys came from.  We live near a river, but not on a river.  I'd never heard of freshwater crayfish, but that must be what they were, because there are certainly no oceans near us.

Because Kyle loves being manly, he begged that I switch with him for the day, and let him clean outside in the rain, while I take over his classes.  Preschool students were called and told not to come in; being so little, the currents running through our campus could have quite easily washed them away.  I obliged my puppy eyed husband although playing in the rain had in truth, sounded fun to me, I just can't say "no" to those eyes. And instead taught his classes.

The flooding actually was worse than I'd expected, more than 17 inches of rain within two days.  Landslides killed several University students, and Seoul was an absolute mess for a few days. Life went back to normal the following day for us, however, more rain, more humidity, but less torrential.

Flooding has arrived

We got a call from administration this morning at 7:30 am.  Kyle didn't get the first call, but when they called a second time, Kyle got out of bed and answered.  "Hello" he croaked into the phone. There was a long pause, while someone spoke on the other side of the phone. "Why do we need to come in at 8:00 am instead of 8:30 am?" He asked, not wanting to get up earlier.  "Alright," he admonished before hanging up.
"The school is flooded, we have to go in early today." he tells me as he sits up in bed.
On my way to the preschool building, rocks, sediment and tree branches bedazzle the streets.  Thankfully the rain is now only a drizzle.  As of two weeks ago, we had three umbrellas; today we have zero.  We left two on a subway after toting them all the way to Mudfest (more on that later), and all the way back, only to leave them at the very last stop.  Even in Korea, the land of no stealing, they weren't safe. Our last umbrella was jacked, sitting outside Kyle's office.  Umbrellas at the village are free game as far as I can tell.  I can't tell you how many umbrella's we've gone through these past two years. Seriously, over ten umbrellas.

My coworker and friend, Lisa, ran into the rain without an umbrella, because her umbrella has also mysteriously disappeared, to capture some of the river. True grit!

Lightening flashed over head, as I stared dumbfounded at the river in the middle of the courtyard.  I looked around to see a spout of water shooting up from the ground. There was no way around this river except through it.  I took off my red, rainproof shoes that I've been wearing daily, and splashed my way barefoot through the cold water.  It felt delightful at 8:30 am on my poorly circulating feet.  I feel like I'm in the wilderness, crossing a unbridled river.  I'm told that the children have been told to stay home today.  Looks like a day of cleaning is ahead.  Its a nice change, a little shake up, to keep us on our toes.  Thank you monsoon season- hopefully you didn't do any REAL damage!

Why don't we listen...

to the voice inside our head.... Life would be so much less complicated, if that voice inside our head was given the respect it deserves.  The other day, I was chatting with a friend, and we were discussing the words, "I'm sorry." Particularly, how difficult those two little words are so impossible for us, the human race, to say.  She was telling us a story, about how she and her sister were in a fight, and she knew herself to be in the wrong, but the words were bottled up inside of her and she refused to allow them to come out. Her sister was refusing to come to a family gathering until those simple words were said.  My friend finally relented, and with extreme difficulty, texted her sister those dreaded words.  Those dreaded words which release us from the enslavement of our pride.  Her sister immediately texted back and said, "thats all I wanted to hear" and came over immediately.   My friend, as she was telling this story, kept saying, I knew I was in the wrong, but I just couldn't say those words.  Normally, when I make my sisters or other family members a cup of tea, they know that I'm sorry, even when I don't say it and they've accepted that about me.

What is it about those words?  As spectators, we can look into this scene with a critical eye, and judge my friend all we want,  but in truth, most of us struggle with listening to that voice of reason residing within us. The voice that says, friendship is more important than this argument. The voice that says, that doughnut is not on your diet and may taste good but will not make you feel good. The voice that says, don't you have things other than watching T.V. that you should be doing?  Many times, these voices, these conversations within our brains, are depicted by a devil and an angel.  The angel is the voice telling us to be good, and the devil is obviously the tempter, the evil doer, but I disagree with this imagery.  I don't think of it as the good and bad within us engaged in a perpetual tug of war, but rather our impulsive, fun-loving, temper-tantrum throwing child-like side against the reasonable, logical, guarded, serious adult.  The child within us, never wants to reveal injury, and protects our pride with ferocity, but it also is the voice of fun.  It also reminds us that life isn't always about work, but about not just living life but enjoying it.  Our serious adult side attempts to keep us in line with the goals that we keep, whether it be our diets, or our academic and/or work goals.  In my opinion, I think both voices, the logical voice and the impulsive voice have a valid place in our lives, but sometimes we struggle with which one should be listened to at which point in our lives.  The story I'm about to relate is a perfect example of when the child-like side should be thrown by the way-side. Sadly, however, the winner of the tug-o-war was the child-like side resulting in a painful and unnecessary blister.

Kyle and I generally make three dishes a week for our meals.  Two of our meals that we'd made recently, required bread.  (Bread wasn't really required but desired) So we decided that we would make honey jalepeno drop biscuits for our soup and for the buns of our black bean burgers. (Turns out they didn't make very good buns)  The trick for the honey, was to pour it on top a few mintues before they came out.  On the last batch of biscuits that came out however, my child-like side screamed in utter delight at the golden, crystalline,  delicious looking honey bubbled on the aluminum foil next to one the scrumptious biscuits.  "Eat it!" my child-like side yelped in unbridled anticipation.  I heard the logical side caution in serious tones, "thats not a wise idea.  You know what will happen." but for some reason, I didn't listen to logic, but instead to impulse.  Sticking my index finger into a sizzling hot glob of honey was possibly one of the dumbest ideas I've had in a long time. What was I thinking? A scream filled the apartment, as my finger sizzled into a painful blister of both physical anguish, and wounded pride, which two weeks later, is still callused. It's not always easy to determine which voice should be listened to, but in this case it should have been simple, and for some reason, I chose to burn myself.

What are some moments in your life when you listened to the wrong voice?  When have you literally or metaphorically burned yourself?

Cousin IT

Months and months ago, eons even, I wrote a post called, "teaching in my house shoes." It had to do with my experience substituting in the preschool. Well, I'm back and honestly I am loving it. Would I consider staying? Yes and No. The thing is... I have ZERO training in early elementary learning. I have been a teacher of students who could read and write, at least at a basic level, but teaching in the preschool has opened my eyes. I had forgotten that we weren't born with the knowlegde to read and write. I was taken aback when the students were learning their letters. Its not that I didn't know that children had to learn their letters, but honestly I had just forgotten that there was a time that I didn't know the alphabet or what sound they made. Maybe this is just making me sound like an simpleton who shouldn't be teaching children, but I don't know how else to describe what I am saying. I knew that children learned the basics, but starting all the way back to the begining is mind altering.

The girl I am replacing quit over a month ago, however because there is a lack of clear responsibilities in job titles and overall laziness, no teacher was hired. So out of desperation, they pulled the bubbly girl from the junior program and put me with the little itty bitty tots. Not really that itty bitty- more like 5 years old.

Their level of English is astonishing. They have only been speaking English for 7-8 months at this point and yet understand just about everything I say. They are sweet. Really adorable. Children at their age are like lost, confused, miniature humans. They look like little adults and yet, they don't notice if their nose is running or if they have food on their face or if the entire world is melting green goop, just as long as no one is touching their toys. Yesterday, one of the children came to me crying, "No one will be my dog." she sobbed through orbs of tears.

"What?" I asked confused.

I looked over at the other children. A plastic toy was wrapped loosely around Adam's neck. Adora was walking him like a dog. "Is Adam your dog Adora?" I asked stifling a laugh.

"No. He's my cat." Adora says seriously

Adam meows (the Korean sound for cat) "nya-ong"

Turning back to Erica, I'm not sure what to say.

"Who wants to be Erica's dog or cat?" I yell out to the class. Those are words I never thought I would be saying.

The reason for the post's name however is this; The first two days in the preschool I wore my hair back for various reasons. Tuesday we didn't have hot water so it was also hidden behind a headband. Wednesday however, I wore my hair down in all of its insane glory.

"Who are you?" Ashley asked me upon walking in and seeing my hair strewn like a lions mane around my face.

"I don't know you." Belle added.

"What are you talking about guys?" I asked.

They pointed to my hair in total awe. Koreans have straight black hair with few exceptions so crazy curly blond hair is beyond strange to them. I shook my hair to cover my face and swung it around so that it would stroke some of them. They screamed in a mixture of delight and fright running in all directions. I chased them, or rather my Goldilocks mane pursued the squealing gaggle of children. After all calmed down, it was difficult for any of them to focus on anything else. All they wanted to do was touch it, pet it and play with my messy birds nest of hair.

There has not been a replacement found thus far, so I suspect I will continue my tenure in the land of the captivating and yet bewildered toy-sized humans next week. More posts to come on the little ones most likely :)

One word China, EFFICIENCY! Part 2

Heading back to Gwangzou:
Back through the Health check stand, up to the deceivingly fancy Immigration counter:

Officer: Passport and Boarding Pass please.

Me: Our flight leaves at 9am tomorrow in nearly 12 hours. (It's 10pm) We only have an itinerary. (hands itinerary to officer.)

Officer: No boarding pass?

Me: No, just itinerary. (points to itinerary in officer's hands)
Officer: You must have boarding pass first.
Me: Ok, where do we get it?(Officer points to a single empty check in counter across the way.)

Me:...There's no one there.

Officer: Just go wait, they come.

Me: Ok thank you.(we go and wait in line at the empty counter.

Meanwhile, other people from our flight and a few other flights start lining up in the immigration lines. Vanessa and I inform them that our officer told us we needed boarding passes first. After 5 minutes or so, most of the foreigners have formed a line at the single empty check in counter. A girl in purple then walks to where we are and asks the couple at the front of the line;

Purple girl: What are you doing?

Couple: We were told we need boarding passes first.
Purple girl: Did you go through immigration check?
Couple: No, they told us to get boarding passes first.

Purple girl: No, no. Immigration first, then board upstairs. Immigration first.

(Group sigh from all the foreigners as we disperse to get back in the immigration lines.

Purple girl walks off, talks to an Officer then walks back to the check in desk and starts typing on the computer. An officer walks over to a few foreigners and tells them to get in line at the Check in desk with Purple girl. The foreigners stutter a few buts and protests but get waved off by the officer who keeps pointing at the check in so we all start to head back over.)

Once we are back in line, we wait about 10 minutes. 4 people get their boarding passes and a very angry looking officer comes over and starts directing us all back to the immigration lines. At this point we are all getting grouchy and are feeling like a heard of cattle. We get through the lines only to be rounded up again in our little holding corner and this time have to wait for nearly an hour before receiving our passports, again with someone calling out names for the officer.

Now most of us were expecting to be lead back upstairs to our departure gates but instead we are told that we should proceed downstairs and that we can check in at the counters down there tomorrow morning. We later found out that we had been given 1 day entry visas which aren't very common in China and usually cost a bit. Regardless, we really didn't know what to do at this point but figured that being the well traveled and resourceful teachers we are, we could fend for ourselves. Check in was at 7 which gave us about 10 hours so here's what we did:

9pm: Scoped out the airport looking for a good place to rest our rumps.9:30pm: Picked a spot with some decently comfy chairs but no carpet, talked about building a fort and busted out the snacks. But decided to get some McDonalds as Pringles weren't cutting it.
11pm: After running around trying to buy something at the golden arches (they wouldn't take any type of credit card and wouldn't exchange money. Between us we had five currencies; Korean won, Thailand baht, Philippino pesos, American dollars and the little bit of Chinese yuan. We somehow managed to buy enough nuggets and fries to feed our group with about 10 dollars worth of Chinese money one guy had left over from his last trip here.

12am: A group of Philippinos that were on our flight inform us that they found out about a free hotel for people who's flights have been delayed. We debate about how sketchy this feels and whether or not it's worth the risk of being taken off to an organ farm or labor camp. The van driver keeps yelling at us, "no money, no money!" and some other things in Chinese no matter the question. A few decide the dude is just too shady but most of us decide to go and hope that there really is safety in numbers.

1:30 amish: We arrive at the hotel about 20 minutes away from the airport in what feels like the armpit of China. Huge neon lights welcome us in to what at first felt like a skanky love motel. 45 minutes later, they let us check in after making copies of our passports and itineraries and we head up to our rooms that are surprisingly comfy and clean. Truly one of the nicer hotel rooms we have stayed in in Asia and while the beds where hard as rocks, we slept well for the next 4 hours. We got a wake up knock right on time and were handed boxes of warm milk and a half loaf of white bread for breakfast. We got fast curbside drop off right on time in the morning and didn't have to pay a dime. Just goes to show things aren't always what they seem. We checked in, did the stupid immigration check one last time and headed off to our gate to meet up with the rest of our foreigner crew and crashed on the carpet in front of our gate for the next 2 hours before heading back to the amazingly clean and efficient South Korea.

It all made me wonder if this is just a symptom suffered in that part of China alone or if it was a byproduct of a more systemic lack of efficiency and critical thinking in the big red country. I'd like to believe that it was just a fluke but something tells me that in a country of over a Billion people who all need jobs, sometimes they just gotta find ways to look busy and at least pretend like they know what they're doing.
Whatever the case, it sure gave us something to write home about.

Illegal- no matter

So I know many of you are waiting to hear about our trip to the Philippines, but alas I am exhausted. We came back Sunday afternoon after traveling for 24 hours and then hopped on another bus, subway and finally a taxi in order to get home three hours later. I felt like I could hardly hold my eyes open yesterday. Luckily, however, this week, I am doing one day programs so I didn't have to teach in zombie form. But what that does mean, is that my energies for writing posts are blinking the red light and are running on fumes. Put put put. I can do it, I can do it.... I am sure I will make it to the gas station before I am stranded on the side of the road. Of course that is what I said in the past before having to walk humiliated in the hot sun along the steaming asphalt road towards a gas station.

What am I talking about? I don't even know anymore. I started this post with the intention of sharing something exceedingly funny and now I am rambling about gas stations? Scrambled eggs. Yep, that is what my brain probably resembles right now. Enough with the digressing. Enough I say.

Story:

Our school is starting a Korean preparatory school. And by preparatory, I mean that its intentions will be to allow the children graduating this high school, not only an American high school diploma, but the ability to be accepted in any University of their choice, preferably those with esteemed reputations such as in the ivy league. It won't be run by our administration, so that in itself is a major advantage for the school. How the school will fair, however, only God knows, or maybe he is just watching things as they unfold, sitting in his cushy throne laughing at it as his evening comedy show.

The other day, as the students were being herded into the gym like a bunch of obstinate cats, we noticed fliers on the table of the entrance. They were advertisements for the new preparatory school.
Nothing too unusual about that. However, upon closer inspection of said flier, we noticed something or rather someone familiar. Kyle with two students. In the United States, there are strict copy right rules about using pictures of people without permission. In Korea, they don't really pay attention to silly laws such as copyright.

Let's take a closer look shall we?

I am positive these girls don't know they are being used in an advertisement either! And if they did, they would hide their faces in utter embarrassment as all Korean girls do. I swear, trying to take face pictures of Korean girls, you would think we were trying to inject them with some mind altering drug. They hide, scream, cover their face, anything to avoid the EVIL camera!

My handsome husband, on the cover of an advertisement of a school he will never teach at. Korea never ceases to amaze me!

We found these signs outside a subway bathroom. Why the government spent money on creating signs such as these for their public bathrooms I have no idea. There are a lot of things about Korea I will never understand, these signs being on the top of that list. But in my mind the conversation went something like this;

Government official in charge of bathrooms (We'll call him GOB): We need a sign outside the bathroom.

Sign maker: I have the perfect sign. Picture this, a mom and her daughter smelling a sunflower with the bright sun shining on their perfect doll like features.

GOB: I agree, that is perfect.

Supervisor aka: decision maker: Wait, what does that have to do with a toilet?

Sign maker: bathrooms make people happy.

Supervisor: Agreed, but what if we made the sign relate a little more to the bathroom.

GOB: hmmmm... like a mirror?

Sign maker: Or a sink.

Supervisor: I mean what if the Koreans don't know what the bathroom is for. I mean, we are using western style toilets rather than squatter toilets that we usually use in public places. Koreans are likely not to even know what these mysterious toilets are for.

GOB: Your right! Squatting over a hole in the ground, without toilet paper available is what Korea is known for. Why did they westernize this bathroom to a toilet monstrosity. Those westerners can continue to fall all over themselves on the dirty, pee laden floor. We shouldn't cater to their needs.

Supervisor: Of course I agree, but what is done is done and upright toilets are what we have. Now we need a sign so that Koreans aren't confused.

Sign maker: I know I know!

GOB: Yes?

Sign maker: Oh wait, Can I tell you have to I go tee tee? (as he is doing the infamous pee pee dancing, crossing his legs jumping up and down)

Supervisor: Sign maker, you are a genius. If we have signs of people doing the "pee pee dance" they will undoubtedly understand what the bathrooms are used for. Get on it!

And that was the genesis of these amazing signs! Or at least in my mind.

Paranoid

Judging by the titles of many of my recent posts "obsessed" "fan death" "paranoid" you would think I was sometype of crazy who needed to be locked behind padded bars. And maybe I do? Who knows. (Evil laugh mwahahahaha)

So what am I paranoid about? Winter.

I know it's only the end of August, but August is at the begining of the slippery slope towards that icy Mongolian wind blowing through this penisula and making everything shivery to the touch.

I really hate winter here.

I hate cold weather, and Korea has really cold winters. If I had been born an Eskimo I would have been thrown to the bears for all of my yammering and complaining if I didn't freeze to death first of course.

But I am so paranoid that the other day, someone was talking about how the heat wave back at home where they will be next week I litterally couldn't remember that we were still in the middle of a very hot Korean summer.

"Heat wave" I asked? "How hot?"

"106-107 degrees about?"

In my head, I thought, wow that is hot for winter. A few years ago we had 90 degree weather in Febuary, but I don't know that it ever got that hot in the middle of winter. And then I looked outside and did a mental slapping of my forehead.

"It's not winter!" I said outloud to my stunned converser.

"uh.. no it's summer" he said, a little confused.

I don't know when I got so mixed up. Maybe it's because we have been spending so much time planning for our return home, and prematurely looking for our next job that I just forgot to keep myself in the present. But either way, I am cowering in the corner afraid of the big fat cold boogie man also known to some as winter. I feel like I just happily packed up those winter clothes and now in just a few short months, because really the months are FLYING BY, it will be upon us and once again, I will be bundled up from head to foot dreaming of summer, pools and sweat. Yes sweat. I love sweat. It makes me happy. It means that I am warm.

Here is an old picture of us in Santiago. I may have a smile on my face, but look at that body posture. I am cold and not liking it!

Here's to being a lunny and paranoid!

A tale of a cricket

I recently found a new home away from the wild outside. Mountainsides seem too rugged, the sidewalk too hazardous, but an apartment with two bedrooms is small and yet doable. I adventure outside occasionally for food, but because this apartment is as alive as a jungle in the middle of South America with mold, fruit flies, spiders and normal flies, I actually have quite a buffet inside to choose from daily. I was so excited when I stumbled upon this cricket heaven I couldn't keep myself from gloating to a couple of my other cricket friends. I was trying to keep this hidden gem a secret, but because of me and my big mouth, there are now or were a few of us. There's a reason I don' t live in Seoul. Overcrowding and no personal space is not my bag baby.

The humans are rarely home and when they are, at least in the past, they have been relatively kind, moving me from the shower before they turn the water on, or shooing me off the bed before they lay their head down to rest. Reasonable requests in my opinion. But the other night however, I don't know what happened to their normally sweet demeanor. But something, which I have yet discovered did occur, and it caused them to flip their lid and go after me and my kind.

It all started when I caught sent of a lovely cricketess. She had evidently chanced upon my humble abode a few days past, and somehow we had yet to encounter one another. I may have powerful legs, but there is no need to waste precious energy indoors away from my predators. Her name was... well.. I don't know. I called her Ms. lovely, but we never officially met. I don't know if the humans particularly didn't like my one and true cricketess or if something else offended them, but whatever occurred, they went off the deep end. And I mean that. They went absolutely bonkers. I have never seen such rage before and I am an old man, as crickets go that is.

When I caught the scent of Ms. Lovely I called out to her. The humans had just begun to lay in their bed. I, snuggled in my pile of dirty clothes in the corner of the room and sang my sweetest serenade. I rubbed my legs together with the passion of a latin lover, producing, in my humble opinion some of the greatest and most skilled chirping a male cricket has ever made. To my surprise however, she refused to reply and instead, another male replied. I am convinced that she was playing hard to get and not blowing me off as others have suggested. The male however astounded me with his bravodo. I mean seriously, coming into my house, and going after my woman, the nerve of some crickets. I continued my song reaching octaves way above his unskilled monotone legs, until the lights flashed on. Kyle, I believe is the human's name was wielding some sort of metal object, maybe a spatula. His hair was disheveled and his eyes were red and slitted. He was looking for something, but what, I have no idea. They were normally sleeping by this time, so why he began stomping around carrying a kitchen utensil, I couldn't fathom.

And then I see him, my competition hopping across the room attempting to escape Kyle and his spatula. It was his chirping, I'm sure of it. He really couldn't carry a tune poor fella. Kyle carried him out of the apartment and threw him back into the wilderness where he belongs. Good riddance, is all I could think. The lights flipped back off, and they slipped into stillness once again.

I had just begun my love ballad when the lights flashed back on. "What could it be this time?" I thought. A flash of pure beauty, and my one and only cricketess skips in front of my pile. Vanessa is chasing her with a shoe. "No!" I scream silently into the t-shirt surrounding me. "Not my darling, my sugar muffin. She is my beloved, my angel. I know I don't know her real name but I can't live without her." And bam, with that last thought, the shoe falls on my darling mysterious cricketess, smothering that shining light forever, never to be seen again. I stood, flabbergasted in my cushy home, unbelieving the events unfolding before me. One minute she was prancing by, waving her hips like a trained beauty queen and the next she has disappeared without a trace. Well, there is kind of a trace of her on the carpet, but lets not talk about such disturbing things.

After that monsterous woman Vanessa had crawled back into bed, my shock wore off, and I could do nothing but weep. My weeping inspired a new song, a tragic song of sorrow and lost love, but before I was able to finish my musical ingenious creation, the lights once again flipped on, and I felt my bundle of clothes being moved. "Two AM in the morning." I heard her mumble. If this isn't the last one, I'm gonna go crazy."

She couldn't figure out where to put me and finally settled on the second bedroom and closed both the door to her bedroom and my new one. I continued my song in solitude until the wee hours of the night, but I didn't hear from them again that evening. I am afraid my home has been ruined for me now. I haven't decided whether to leave or to make my home back in the bedroom with the bipolar couple.

Maybe I shall try singing them a song. Yes, a dedicated and specially written song to the home owners will do the trick. Tonight, I shall sing them a lullaby as they rest their heads. Whatever caused them to turn into monsters in the night will all be assuaged with this masterpiece croon, I am sure of it.

Mudskipper vs crab

About a month ago we went to an area of Korea called Jellomnam-do. It is considered one of the most traditional areas of Korea. While we were there, we visited a National Reserve. The national reserve had bridges traversing long green blades of grass, some type of rice paddies. Within the inter-circles lived strange fish called mudskipper that have actually evolved to live amphibiously and walks on land. We spent hours just watching these bizarre creatures. Well... not hours, but we couldn't stop watching them. I had never seen a fish crawl with it's fins out of water. They were nothing short of fascinating. They lived amongst crabs, mostly in peace. If a passerby didn't but take a quick glance, they might see nothing but mud. A second glance demonstrated that the mud was moving. With further observation, one could see that it wasn't mud moving but these crabs and mud skippers habituating and caked in the wet dirt. At the bottom of the post, I have posted a short video of an interaction between the crab and mud skipper. The mud skipper who actually doesn't move a whole lot, flares his dorsal fin in aggression. It is quite exciting for nerds such as ourselves. I hope you enjoy. Also, if you want to learn more about the mud skippers, read below.

This info was taken from scienceray

The mudskipper holds water in its gills in order to “breathe” out of water. The fish’s pectoral fins act as arms that have well-developed muscles to carry the mudskipper’s body. Using the pectoral fins and tail, the mudskipper crawls and flaps its body across land in search of food. These fish eat spiders and insects – prey that is not usually found in the sea.

Not only can mudskippers walk on land, they can also leap in the air to heights of half a meter (around two feet), by bending and suddenly straightening their bodies. The mudskipper is also known for climbing mangrove trees in search of food. Because of these unusual actions, mudskippers have also been called kangaroo fish, climbing fish, mudhopper and johnny jumpers.

Part of the mudskipper courtship ritual takes place on land, with the male doing ‘push-ups’ to reveal his golden chest and chin to the female.

Mudskippers take in oxygen through the water stored in the gill cavities and through the skin. Because they also breathe through the skin, mudskippers need to remain moist and will often roll in puddles while on land. Their eyes are particularly sensitive to drying out and the mudskipper use a wet fin to dampen them. Another method that the mudskipper uses to moisten its eyes is to retract the eyes into the eye-sockets.

During the Devonian period of evolution, the first fish evolved legs and crawled onto land. This rapid evolution allowed the fish to search for new homes when their previous residence threatened to dry up.

To watch the video click here.

Disaster not avoided (at all!)

Walking out of the auditorium with 10 waggling Russian children high from the spirit of theater practice on an actual stage, I stagger towards the sunlight blinded by it's ferocity. The spirals of radiant light penetrate my bat-adjusted eyes so much more mercilessly after being enclosed in a cave like space I couldn't be sure of what my eyes were transmitting.
A crowd of Russian students hovered around the fountain like seagulls going in for the steal of breadcrumbs. I wanted to avert my eyes and avoid what looked like what might be a scene brewing as I was tired from yelling at my students to stop acting like monkeys while practicing their play. All I desired was my ten minute break. Just ten minutes. But then I saw it. I couldn’t tell if what I was seeing was an illusion from the sudden brightness of light or reality. One of the girls in the group we call “the glam girls” (nicknamed such for the way they dress and are constantly modeling as if anyone of us might take out our camera and start snapping away) stood in what appeared from a distance, her bathing suite next to the pond surrounding our miniature version of the Statue of Liberty in the middle of the courtyard. As if repelled by an opposing end magnet my exhaustion told me to run; run far far away and not look back, but my conscious dragged me kicking and screaming towards the scene.

It turned out that she was not in her bathing suite, but in her bra and underwear holding her dress in front of her. Her hair dripping with fountain water, her face hard, stoic even.

Baffled at this unexpected soap opera, I asked what happened.
"He pushed me in!" she exclaimed tears, whether true or no poured down her face. I followed her index finger pointing to a blond headed boy lounging smugly on the bank of the pond. (I don't really know what to call the water surrounding the statue as it stagnant so isn't actually a fountain, but it isn't a natural enclosure so it really isn't a pond either.) I took my sweater off, put it around her shoulders and walked her back towards the dorms.

The truth (or what we could gather): The two are in the high level class. They either love each other ardently and don't know any other way of expressing love except through vicious fighting, or they hate each other with the vehemence of a cobra and a mongoose and want to see each other die a long painful death, preferably by the other's hand. Simply said, they haven't stopped bickering and battling since they arrived in Korea. This particular feud ended with a punch in the face to the boy, and a splash in the statue of liberty pond. How her dress came completely off, I don't know, nor will I probably ever know. What I do know is that their punishment was to help clean dishes in the cafeteria. And despite the girl's insistence that she didn't deserve this kind of treatment for only a punch, the dishes were clean the next day and there wasn't anyone standing naked in the middle of the courtyard for all to gawk at. We shall see what tomorrow holds. One thing is for sure, these Russians sure are entertaining.

Pictures as promised!
(disclaimer: non of the girls in the pictures are in the story above)

This girl is what I imagine Russians looking like. (The girl in white in the back is in my class. She is very cute and enthusiastic)

These two lovely ladies are calm collected, but always participate. It is an interesting mix for I normally don't find all of those qualities in my students at the same time.

My boys who are always laughing.

My Peter Pan in the play. Look at the length of her hair.

When Korean kids have a camera

This is what happens when you give Korean children a camera and tell them to create their own story using a photos.

Here is Cinderella sweeping with the props she has, a pencil and paper.
Cinderella is now being bit by the zombie dog.


Poor Cinderella.


Enters Prince Charming on a horse.

Prince Charming meets Cinderella.

But Cinderella has turned into a zombie and tries to attack the Prince.

Then the Prince turns into a zombie as well.

The zombie Prince and zombie Cinderella get married. (this picture refused to rotate. Don't ask me why???!!!)

And everyone lives happily ever after as zombies.

The Oido lighthouse adventure!

I have been a little busy as of late which is why my postings have been fewer than normal. I have taken on an overtime position teaching for two extra hours a day, however, recently the administration decided that teachers had entirely too many preparation hours and decided to cut them. Obviously we are dealing with long-term planners, and education experts! To hell with preparing! Who needs to prepare for a class? The result has been that my head has twisted a full 180 degrees to face the wrong direction, I now gallop like a gorilla, if that's what gorillas do and woot like an owl. Well maybe it hasn't gotten that bad, but I do actually have a twitch in my eye and if things don't improve, I might turn into a crazed gorilla monstrosity.

So the entire intention of this intro was explain why this post about an experience last March is being written at the begining of June. And really, it isn't an excuse because it is months late and not just a week late. But if I can get you to feel sorry for poor little nessa having to deal with the crazies in Korea, then maybe no one will notice how late this post really is. Hows my plan working?

Onto the story: Except that there isn't too much of a story...

One day Kyle and Vanessa woke up very very early on a Saturday. They were taking a photography class and had to catch a taxi to the subway, switch trains three times before arriving at their destination three hours later. Vanessa and Kyle, not being morning people were non too pleased about this arrangement, but for photography lessons, they were willing to give up sleeping in for a few Saturdays in March.

I warned you it wasn't much of a story...

So one Saturday, we had made plans to meet up with a meetup group and some friends in Ansan to visit the *FAMOUS* Oido light house. (It isn't really famous, I'm being ironical ;) ) We met up with the folks, got on a bus to a random, and honestly pretty crappy museum, wandered around this sad attempt at a gathering of art and then headed out towards the light house.









We wanted to make it before sunset because it was supposed to be the best time of day to see it. We timed it perfectly, except for the transportation. You see, I knew what bus to get on, but we got on this local bus in the wrong location and ended up traveling around half the city. It was so past dusk when we finally arrived at the lighthouse, I could hardly see my hands in front of my face. Roman candles were for sale at the lighthouse, but unfortunatly the light house itself, which we had traveled litterally hours to see was closed.

For dinner, there were tons of restraunts along the beach front and as far as I could tell, they all served the exact same overly expensive clam bake. After paying what I consider outrageous prices for these slimy critters to sizzle and pop on an open flame, I have decided, I ain't a fan. Nope, I don't like the texture, or the bits of sand that are sometimes still ingrained. And to be perfectly honest, the flavor pretty much doesn't agree with my tongue either.


We had fun though, which is what counts. Despite the failed attempt at seeing the lighthouse, while open and at sunset, and besides what I considered a not so great meal, we had fun seeing friends and hanging out. All in all, it was a successful trip!