I don't know how it happened? I had set a goal to be gainfully employed by the beginning of summer and when that didn't happen, plan B went into effect; Intern until a job with payment of green is attained (preferably by the end of the summer). I met my goal! I didn't think it would happen, but it did.
The thing about job hunting is that its treacherous to the ego. I had started to loose hope that I was worth anything. My ego has had a refill of late from the joy of being hired, but last week, my ego looked something like the mermaids that Ursala in "The Little Mermaid" had turned into withered, writhing creatures at the bottom of her cave. They would reach out for help as any other sea animal passed, but instead of help they received glares, pitiful and frightened looks. No one glared at me, or screamed at me, however all the same, I felt disregarded and useless.
I wish that I had blogged during the job hunt because there's a lot of good writing material there. There are so many emotions, its like being on a constant emotional roller coaster. I can see why after a while, people just stop looking, when you feel like your qualifications aren't what the world wants, its easy to curl up in a ball and close your eyes to the rest of the world. Believe me, I wanted to do that so many times, and I was only in the "game" for a few months. Some people look for much longer than I did. I can't imagine the state of their self-esteems. And after being ignored, looked over, told that you're not good enough so many times, you start to believe it. Had I kept a blog it would have looked something like this:
Day 1: I spent 5 hours looking at jobs on the internet today. I signed up for every job search engine ever created, maybe even some that are scams. I don't know what I'm doing...
Day 3: I'm trying to stay organized with how many jobs I'm applying to by keeping an excel sheet, but really its just depressing to look at. I've applied to at least 20 jobs now, and no one has replied yet. I even applied as an unpaid intern to multiple places, and I'm still not getting a response. Seriously, am I that undesirable??
Day 10: No one is responding. If I have to write another cover letter or fill out another application, I might murder my computer.
Day 14: I sent out my resume to family and friends with a description of jobs to look out for. Why didn't I do that earlier?
Day20: Someone said they may have a job for me? Sending out my resume to my friends and family was a brilliant idea!! The job sounds amazing. I'm really excited about it. It's working at a non-profit working with women and their families and I'd be helping to run it.
Day 25: It would have been perfect but it doesn't start for another three months at least. My hopes are a little higher, but still no job....
Day 27: I've lost track of how many jobs I've applied to now. My excel sheet is disjointed and depressing. It just shows how many companies think that I'm not worth their time.
Day 30: I applied to a job on craigslist. It was for a production company and they emailed saying they want to interview me. They want to interview me! No one to date has wanted to interview me....
Day 35: I had the interview. I asked him how I did at the end. He said I seemed nervous. Thats not good. I didn't feel too nervous in that interview and if I come off as nervous when I don't feel too nervous what do I look like when I am nervous?
Friday: I sent my resume to a contact at the Free Trade Alliance today and we had a conversation about a job opening that might be available. It would be a perfect fit for me!
Monday morning: I got an email from the Production company. I didn't get offered the job. When I get bad news, my immediate reaction is to fall. My legs stop offering their standing services. I wasn't sure I would have taken the job anyways because the pay would have been really low, but at least I would like to know that I am wanted.
Monday afternoon: I have an interview. My contact at the FTA called and said they want me to come in an interview. I have to find my suit and print out a recent copy of my resume. From 4pm-10pm I spend preparing for the interviewing.
Tuesday: The interview went well... I think... Kyle told me last night that he thinks I sit too straight and pronounce my words too much like an actor. So I leaned in my chair and tried to have a more relaxed way of talking. I also did power poses from a TED talk before my interview. Try it, I think it works! Oh my gosh, they're calling me right now. I'm interviewing again tomorrow!!
Wednesday: On Monday night, Kyle and I had worked on a brand for me. I had a three sentence brand response to "Tell me about yourself." We read that they don't really want to know you, they just want to know what you have to offer. My branding didn't work. He wanted to know me past that. I never know where to begin with this question. I have a quilt of experiences that are patched together randomly. I think its beautiful and it works, but not everyone sees its beauty. Some see it as a raggedy blanket that doesn't have matching patches. He seemed to see it though because he's offering me the job.
Thursday: I just accepted the offer. Its lower than I wanted, but I am proud of myself because I discussed the salary and got a slightly better offer. I read that employers respect employees who are willing to have this difficult conversation. I hope that is true. I'm employed! I'm employed! I have a job!!
1 comment:
Congratulations on the new job, Vanessa. You did forget though that I offered you a paid internship working for the timebank.
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