As I've grown older, birthdays have become less and less exciting. In fact, they are downright dreadful now. I'm moving steadily towards 30 years of age. I can remember as a child thinking that 30 was the equivalent to the end of the earth. It seems to me that someone as close to thirty as I am, should have their life figured out, or at least closer to an idea than where I am. In my afternoon class, ( with 6-9 year old Korean age) one of the questions we have them practice is "What do you want to be when you grow up?" When its my turn, my throat clogs up with anxiety. There are so many things I would love to do. I'd love to be a published author, I'd love to own a tea shop, and a restaurant. I'd love to be a motivational speaker, a sustainability or a communication expert. I'd love to work with poor women helping them start businesses. I'd love to work for a non-profit, or start a non-profit. I'd love to be a mom and a grandma. I'd love to be an entrepreneur. At least these are all things I imagine that I'd love, but who knows for sure unless I try, and I don't know where to even start, (which is why I'm turning to grad school which may or may not be the best solution) but I know that I want my life to mean something. I know that at my funeral (which I pray is later rather than sooner) that people can say that I had an impact on the world, that I made the world a better place to live and ( in my dreams) that I alone was the cause for world peace :) But do you know what the kids say to me when I give them my answer? They say "Teacher, you are grown up." And its true, kind of. At least in their eyes, I'm old. I've even given to saying, "I'm a grandma" when they ask my age. I have come to realize through my years of anxious searching, that life is about the journey not the destination. My aunt sent me this awesome quote recently- "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain." And this year, I will try to to remember to dance in the rain and not worry so much about the storm, and hopefully that dance will get me where I'm meant to go.
We celebrated my birthday, the weekend before my actual birthday in Seoul starting out at a Thai restaurant, followed by a cool hip bar called the Bungalow in Itaewon, the foreigner area, behind the Hamilton hotel, with swings and sand on the floor. The drinks were overpriced, but the atmosphere was chill and inviting.
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| A delicious mojito. |
On my actual birthday, the preschool took me out on a bizarre outing. First of all, the bus driver of the students wanted to pay for my meal. That might not sound so strange, except the man has only ever said one word to me, and that was something about trash (in Korean), when he asked me to throw something away for him. Sarah, the manager of the preschool, said that he is very generous and loves to pay for teachers meals. We went to a Korean restaurant, but with slightly different food than I've had before. They tried to explain it to us, but all we understood was that there was beef and fish. "Together?" I asked. "It's on the same burner." they replied. Basically, that's exactly what it was, beef and fish. It was good, but kind of strange. It was a fun evening however, and we all traveled there together on the school bus, which added to the silliness of the evening. After wards, we invited a few friends who were in the village to come over and eat the Pineapple rum cake that my husband had made. It turned out okay. It was a little dry, and ugly as the pineapples burned a little, but I really loved that my hubby wanted to make the cake for me. It was very sweet. And then as added fun, we all put on the UT (university of Texas) clothes that my mom sent us as a birthday gift to show her our (kyle and my) appreciation.
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| after we eat most of the meat, they add rice and make it a stir fry. |
