My birthday has come and gone. We are not discussing my newest age. I have stopped counting, so if anyone asks, I will tell you 21. Why does it seem that when we are young, birthdays arrive ever so slowly, like a feather floating on the wind currents calmly breezing and chilling on the drafts as we jump up and down trying to grab it from the sky. But when we get past 20 they zoom towards us like a blazing flame-encrusted alien asteroid shot from a speed of light powered cannon. I am dodging those ever growing alien space balls as skillfully as I can, but in all honesty, my reflexes are seriously lacking, and they hit me much too often for comfort. I am on the fast train to thirty years old, and as much as I beg and plead with the train conductor to freaking slow down this mad dashing train, he only laughs menacingly and calls out to the worker sporting overalls and a shovel in his gruff callous voice "More coals to the fire!" I can almost see the brick wall looming on the tracks with the big 30 bedazzled in pink rhinestones mocking me.
I just need a watch to slow down time. Anyone have one? It's not that I don't ever want to be thirty, it's just that I thought I would have accomplished so much more by that time. I imagined that I would be a grown up by my age, but I don't feel like a grown up. I don't feel like an adult. I still feel like we are just playing house. What I really want is a few more years before I am thirty so that the dreams of an eight year old can be realized. Is that really too much to ask?
So although I would have preferred to ignore the day reminding me of that looming brick wall, we did actually celebrate the day of my birth. A friend came to stay with us. Enchiladas were had. ( A serious treat from some lovely co-workers!) Saturday, Kyle and I had a joint birthday bash in Itaewon (the foreign district) with an Indian buffet and chic bar called the bungalow with sand on the floor to complete the bohemian vibe with friends in Seoul. Sunday afternoon, we had a BBQ with co-workers and celebrated a joint birthday with one of our co-workers wife who had also had a birthday that week.
It was a solid week of celebration and super duper fun. And although I wish my birthdays would stop stacking one on top of the other like precariously piled jenga blocks, I was able to look past what it means to be my age and live life as best as I know how.
You know, you are still young. And think about this, you are teaching English in a foreign country. Just that fact alone is pretty cool and how many others your age could say that? Most are saying things like, "Well, I am still on the junior track of my company, but I think things will improve once I show everyone what I've got..."
ReplyDeleteWhen I was your age, I was just beginning my career. I had gone through 8 years of school, and four years of residency in a city that I wasn't crazy about. I was in a dead end relationship and chafing to get out. I was making real money for the first time but still spending my days off drinking and partying.
I think you are doing really well.
Once it starts going, the train never slows down, sad but true. I think the trick is to -not- feel grown-up (whatever that means). So looks like ur doin it rite.
ReplyDelete:)
Thirty isn't even middle age! don't give it another thought! I'm looking at my 66th birthday on the horizon!
ReplyDelete