Crazy Week from Hell part 1

Sunday evening, we settled down for an evening of relaxation watching Halloween Horrors. (side note: I realize that this is a contradiction of terms. The entire goal of horror flicks are to increase heart rate, cause blood-curdling screams from the innocent, and to raise blood pressure possibly to boiling point. But when I say relax, I mean to avoid the dishes, and other problems laying around needing attention so in theory it is possible to relax and pee in your pants in fright at the same time) A neighbor girl had come by earlier in the week with a tub of cookie dough, sweetly stating that Grandma Dee Dee had always bought from her and so in return for her kindness, she wanted to give us this particular tub of cookie dough. My personal theory differs slightly from the story she gave. Considering the evidence: exhibit A; the type of cookie dough is Key Lime White Chocolate Chip, a strange flavor for some not willing to experiment and exhibit B; the seal was broken and a chunk or a spoonful if you will had been spooned out. This leads to my hypothesis, that the girl and/or her family tasted said cookie dough, disliked it and decided to give the poison to the new neighbors. Luckily, we don't mind strange flavors, and or evidence that somebody had already tasted the goods. With the cookies in the oven, we realize however that we don't have milk, and cookies just cannot be eaten without milk. What happened in Kyle's words...
So the other night, Van and I were having a hankerin for some keylime white chocolate cookies. I know, they sound weird but they're actually quite delicious if you ask me. But like any good cookie, or any bad cookie for that matter, they are soooo much better with a tall glass of milk. Well, we were out of milk, so I, being the good husband that I am very kindly volunteered to do the milk run. Let me back up a little here. For those who don't know, Van and I are living at Grandma DeeDee's while the uncles figure out what they are going to do with the house after Thanksgiving. DeeDee's house isn't smack dab in the middle of the ghetto but it's certainly on the outskirts. It's old school some might say. A generally comfortable mix of old timmer wasps and the hard working hispanics. Without getting to non PC about it, it's certainly not the part of town where it's ok to leave the doors unlocked or forget to bring your valuables in from the car at night. But it's quiet. For the most part. So off I went to the corner store to get a jug, when low and behold, the fridge had nothing but soda and beer. No problem, I thought. There's about half a dozen gas stations within a 20 foot radius of where I was. 3 stations later, still no milk. Well, HEB was still open God blessem so off I went to HEB. I worked my way to the back of the store, mustering as much will as I could to not buy the Dorritos or cinamon glaze twist donuts I passed on the way and selected my gallon of 1%. I prefer 2%, Van prefers Skim. We compromise. When just as I was pulling the gallon out of the fridge, 2 shots echo through the nearly empty store. Now oddly enough, the first thought that went through my head was...."that doesn't sound like a very big gun." Probably not the wisest thing to be thinking when you hear gunshots but who ever said I was wise. After 30 seconds which felt like 30 minutes passed by, the workers started coming up and through the aisles saying "coast is clear, he's gone, it's ok, come on out." Pretty stinkin scary. Turned out, some guy at the front was shot twice but he seemed alright and the paramedics didn't seem too worried about him. So, I paid for my milk, got in the car, pumped up the 2 Pac, checked to make sure my 45 was loaded and thought, "damn it feels good to be a gangsta."


Monday morning once again we receive news that sends my innards into a civil war. As if my stomach didn't already have enough holes from the overactive stressed-induced acid. The email said two things. #1 SNET, the Korean school at which we have been hired, which has been ever so patient with out situation, is now feeling pressure to fill the two positions that they have been holding since June. They still would very much like to hire us, but they must give us a deadline of two weeks, November 7 to have Kyle's paperwork in the mail for the visa. What does that mean? That means that Kyle has to take all four of his tests, start and finish the creative writing class, receive a grade, have the grade sent to UT, have a certificate of completion printed out along with a sealed transcript and mail it to Korea by Friday. #2 Vanessa's visa expires Thursday as in in three days. A visa number is issued when all of the required paperwork, ie: diploma, transcript, contract, background check has been sent to Korea and processed by the government. They then issue a visa number and the applicant has three months before the visa expires. My three months were about up. While Kyle drove up to San Marcos to plead his case with his professor and the correspondence office, I looked up what was needed to get said interview. An application including a passport, passport picture, sealed transcript, $45 money order among other things were required to be sent in before an interview was granted. I thought maybe I had a sealed transcript at my house, but Kyle had the car so until he returned, I couldn't be sure. Meanwhile, Kyle had a successful meeting in San Marcos. His professor was very kind and accommodating, and everyone agreed to move things along in a timely manner. On Kyle's return to San Antonio, after being stuck in traffic for over an hour, he received a phone call from San Marcos that he was approved to sign up for all four of his tests. He pulled a Uee and headed back towards San Marcos to sign up for his tests. When Kyle returned home, I jumped in the car and headed over to my mom's house to look for the transcript. It wasn't there, or if it was there, it was hidden in the mounds of clothes, books, and papers stacked in our bedroom. By that time, it was too late to drive to Austin.

Tuesday first thing in the morning we drove to Austin for my sealed transcript. Kyle came with me because he was still registered to vote in Travis county and therefore could not vote in San Antonio. Our errands in Austin took us all of ten minutes, and we jumped back in the car for home. While at home, Kyle studied while I attempted to run errands like a normal person with their head attached, but my attempt crashed and burned in a flame of absent-mindedness. I had run out of funds, and my mom agreed to get the money order for me. She told me to meet her by the SACU (local bank) by her office on Broadway. As I maped out my route in my head, I visualized the bank we normally frequent, on Nachodoches. I realized my mistake only when I had pulled into the wrong bank. I quickly pulled out and headed over to the correct bank, however once again the mapping in my head got in the way. I use two banks, Wellsfargo and SACU. There is an SACU and a Wellsfargo on the access road of Broadway and 410, so which one do I drive to? Wellsfargo. This time I don't realize my mistake until I have entered the bank. By this time, my mom is growing impatient. Luckily, the third time is a charm and I arrived before my mom stormed off waiting for her daughter without a head. I gathered my paperwork together and took it to the post office to overnight it to the Korean consulate in Houston for my interview. And then I went to vote! Yay for voting! Don't forget to vote! I then headed back home to my mom's house for my studious hubby. We decided to wait there until the creative writing book came in the mail. That is right, we only received that book this week. Two months of waiting, third time's a charm didn't work for this little book. They attempted sending it by mail not once, not twice, not three times but four. I have no idea what happened to it the first three times or why we never received it, but we didn't. We even drove up to San Marcos to pick a copy up on our way to Houston, only to find out the last copy available had been given away that day, and the next copy was not to come in for another 3 weeks. We ordered another copy from the company-whoever the company is- and they said two days, but after two days, they said they hadn't received it from the warehouse? Confused yet? Yeah so were we, in fact, we never really understood, we just wanted the book and wanted it two months ago. We finally received it though, so that is another hurtle tackled.

stay tuned for the rest of Hell Week!