
about to go down
My first thoughts about our entrance into the scuba world was  worry  that Kyle would have ear problems again.  He has had ear issues  not  only snorkeling but in at least one airplane ride when he felt he  had  busted his ear drum, the pain was so overpowering and intense.  As  for  me, I wasn't too worried. I had always kinda thought that I might  have  the opposite fear of claustrophobia, but the fear of wide open  spaces  such as space or the ocean, where the space seemingly never  ended.  But I wasn't actually worried, just excited.
The  initial  foreboding doggy-paddled it's way into my subconscious as we watched  the informational video required for the introduction dive.  "Sudden  lung expansion, ear drum  bursting and drowning can occur during scuba  diving."  "Deep breaths" I  told myself. "Plenty of people scuba dive  and don't kill themselves.   You can too.  Nothing is going to happen."
My  motivational speech  going on within my head seemed to calm my nerves.   Kyle was the star  pupil in our sessions.  I fumbled through some  practices such as the  removing water from our masks and replacing the  oxygen hose if it were  to fall out of my mouth.  Kyle shined.  I  glared.
Nerves mounted  as we rode on our boat out to our  location.  Butterflies, frogs,  what-have-you  hopped, fluttered and  jousted in my stomach as we slowed  over our dive point.
Mask defogged and fitted- check
weightbelt on- check
huge, bulky oxygen tank secured- check
insanity- check
They   instructed us to fall backwards into the water.  Insanity- yep.  This   method is easier than climbing down a ladder, but like Kyle said,   "heavy=sink and sink=drowning."  Falling backwards wasn't too bad, but   once I landed, my flippered feet flailed helpless around in the air as I  mimicked  a flipped over junebug getting off it's back, or at least   vertical in the water.  It was probably a laughable affair.  Good thing   Kyle was on the other side of the boat so he couldn't laugh at my  silliness.
Next step... going down.
"Put your face in the water" we were told, as our buoyancy vests were deflated so that we would sink slowly to the ocean floor.
"Here we go!" I thought anxiously.
We   were led down on an old rope that looked like it had been pulled from a   shipwreck, it had so much algae covering it.  Surprisingly however,  the  moss gave it a soft, smooth feel that I actually enjoyed our  descent.  Our speed was slower than turtle speed, probably sloth speed  so that we  could properly equalize our eardrums every meter.
No problems there.
The   problems began once we hit the ocean floor and I looked up.  It was   kind of like how  people at tall heights say not to look down, but   instead this time, I probably shouldn't have looked up. We weren't   actually very far from the surface, 12 meters or 30 ft, but my immediate   thought was, "If something were to happen, I couldn't just rush to the   surface without expanding and thus destroying my lungs." And suddenly,  I  couldn't remember how to breath.  Breathing through a tank is like   having a cold and loosing complete access to your nostrils.  It is   uncomfortable and takes some getting used to.  My breaths became shallow   and unfulfilled.  My heart pounded  uncontrollably in my chest.  I  felt  out of control, uncomfortable and completely out of my element. I   wasn't a fish, what was I trying to do, breath underwater?
I   didn't want to be a nuisance but we had learned the sign for pounding   heart.  When he was teaching us the scuba sign language, I laughed at   the heart beating sign in class, thinking why would someone really use   that?   And of course that was the first sign I used once under water.    My instructor was wonderful.  Really wonderful.  He rushed to me,   pressed some type of valve, I don't really know what he was doing, but   it allowed me to take my first deep breath since the panic attack began.    Breathing deeply helped.  It's amazing what a little oxygen can do  for  someones nerves. Immediately my heart took a chillax pill and  drummed to  a more even tempered tune.  Oxygen rushed through my body  and I sighed  relief.  Kyle took my hand as soon as Peter, our  instructor made sure I  was better, and didn't let go of it the entire  rest of the time we were  under water.  And that hand, I am pretty  positive is what got me through  the remainder of our time underwater.
The  panic attack, although  quickly alleviated, threw my whole attitude off  kilter and set the mood  for the rest of our swim down under. Nerves,  all though significantly  more calm than at the beginning never really  stopped squirming.  My  wetsuit which was cut at the sleeves and legs to  be less oppressive  didn't fit perfectly and although the water was  truly the perfect  temperature for swimming, my body temperature  continued to drop, until  my lips had had adopted a blue lipstick  fashion and I began shivering.   For someone with my size and frame,  spending thirty minutes underwater  of any temperature, unless it's in a  Jacuzzi, needs a warmer  wetsuit.
Our first plan of action,  besides intercepting a panic  attack was to feed fish.  They like stale  bread it turns out.  Who would  have thought that fish of all sizes and  shapes would herd like begging  pups.  I swear if they had the ability  to make facial expressions, they  would have given the sad puppy dog  eyes.  We didn't need to reach out  and touch them, they brushed every  part of our body crowding the food.  It was amazing being surrounded by  so many fish.  Surreal really.

feeding the fishies

We   were then pushed by our instructor, as we hadn't been taught the  proper procedures for swimming with tanks, through reefs and other  underwater cathedrals  to view other life forms. We didn't see anything  too  spectacular and what I mean by spectacular is relative.  I am  referring  to creatures such as whales, dolphins, manta-rays, sharks,  mermaids etc.   What we saw was breathtakingly stunning and magical in  it's own right  and perfect for beginners such as ourselves, but wasn't  anything too out  of the ordinary in ocean terms.  I had a hard time  appreciating it  however as all I kept thinking was, "Is this almost  over?  We're going  close to the boat.  Why are we passing the boat?  We  aren't finished  yet?  When can I breath like humans were intended?"
Before  we  re-surfaced we posed for a photo-shoot.  We took some pictures  looking  at the camera and then they told us to kiss.  "KISS!" I thought   horrified, "I have to take out my mouth piece and put it back in!"  This  was one of the first skills we had learned, but I didn't like it.   I was  scared.  I didn't want to kiss Kyle.  I didn't care about a  stupid  photo. (probably the first time I have ever said that) but of  course you  can't speak under water, they counted, I did as they said  and kissed my  husband unwillingly.

Another kiss
Once we finally surfaced, I was beyond thrilled to be above again, but Kyle was asking "When can we go down again?"
He  did go down the next day, while I sat out.  My stomach was upset from  something I ate the night before.  I took pictures from the boat.

The warmer wetsuit I wore on the second dive
The   next time we went down together, I was much more comfortable, smiling   even.  My wetsuit fit, I wasn't shivering, and I was figuring out to   take deep controlled breaths.  I continued to struggle with controlling   my body.  If someone wasn't holding me up, I just fell to the floor  like a toddler first learning to walk.  It  is a skill you learn with  time, but probably small people are more prone  to currents than the  larger people.   And I found holding the mouth  piece in my mouth  tiring, but at the end of it, I was thrilled that I  got back on the  wagon.
One last interesting note on scuba diving before I  bore you to death is everything is  magnified underwater.  We came  across some other divers, and my first  reaction was fear.  They  literally were like gigantic monsters. Their distorted dimensions were  completely  thrown off by the water giving the illusion of a truly  massive creature.   No wonder we are frightening to other animals.
We didn't get certified, but plan on doing that some time in the near future.  Marine life, here we come.

Another type of star fish